The Late night comedy shows on Monday were filled with jokes about Donald Trump’s comment earlier in the day about this month’s Parkland school shooting that he believed he would have “run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon. The “Late Show” was no exception, with Stephen Colbert spending a portion of his monologue on exactly that.
“At this point, I go to bed every night believing there’s nothing he could say or do that would possibly surprise me. Then the sun comes up,” Colbert said to kick things off before discussing Trump’s various comments to an assembly of state governors at the White House on Monday. He began with Trump talking about arming teachers, and then got to the big item of the day.
“I mean, who among us, really, could honestly say what they think they would do in that situation?” Colbert said, cueing the video of the quote that was played on Monday.
“Okay,” Colbert said after a long pause that followed the video. “There’s a lot in there that I doubt, but the part that I really don’t believe is that he can run. I just don’t see it.”
From there, Colbert felt it was imperative to remind Trump and everybody else of the president’s service record — or lack thereof.
“Look, sir, we already know how you react to combat situations. You got five deferments from Vietnam. What are you gonna do, run in there and stab them with your bone spurs?” Colbert said, referring to the story of how Trump avoided being drafted by claiming medical deferments for bone spurs in his foot.
“‘I could have won Vietnam,'” Colbert continued, doing a Trump impression. “‘No weapon, just run right up to Ho Chi Minh and karate chopped him in the clavicle. Okay. Nixon’s still president.'”
Colbert also tackled White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ attempt to spin Trump’s quote at her daily press briefing.
“That’s really stupid, but he said it, and you can’t say he didn’t say it. Can you?” Colbert said before running a clip of Sanders trying to spin the quote by saying that Trump was merely trying to express his desire to be a leader in that moment, similar to how the teachers tried to protect students and one even died doing so.
“So Trump’s got all kinds of fantasies about what he’d have done in that school. The president believes he’d have had a big role in the school if he were a student there. He’d be captain of the football team. Probably dating the hottest girl. The other kids would call him big Donnie. He would sit at the school lunch table but in the end, he surprises the nerds when he shows up to help them win the state spelling bee.”
You can watch Monday’s “Late Show” monologue above.