It’s hurricane season again, and the big one this year so far appears to be Hurricane Florence, which is hitting North and South Carolina early Thursday morning. And a common topic of conversation among late-night hosts on Wednesday night was just how hard Donald Trump will botch the response from the federal government. Stephen Colbert began his monologue on “The Late Show” with that very issue.
“President Trump has been hard at work both preparing for the hurricane and bragging about how good he is at hurricanes,” Colbert said, referring to Trump’s Wednesday tweet in which he declared that “We got A Pluses for our recent hurricane work in Texas and Florida (And did an unappreciated great job in Puerto Rico even though an inaccessible island with very poor electricity and a totally competent Mayor of San Juan). We are ready for the big one that is coming!”
Colbert paused his reading of the tweet after he got to the “inaccessible island” part.
“Just hold up right there. I’d like to point out that we knew it was an island before the storm hit,” Colbert said. “It wasn’t a surprise. And what do you mean by ‘inaccessible’? People go there for spring break. It’s not that island where they’re hiding King Kong. But Trump really believes all this. Listen to what he said yesterday.”
Trump, in the clip they showed then: “I think, in a certain way, the best job we did was Puerto Rico, but nobody would understand that.”
“Yes, it is. It is hard to understand that,” Colbert came back. “Like it’s hard to understand how in a certain way the Hindenburg crash was one of aviation’s most spectacular landings. So I just wanna say, if you’re not evacuating the coast of the Carolinas, don’t worry. Donald Trump is bragging he’s prepared to make you the next Puerto Rico.”
Colbert then shifted to his weather-themed (in a sense) regular segment on a certain other big Trump topic.
“Let’s take a moment to check in with the storm that Donald Trump is afraid of in tonight’s Stormy Watch,” Colbert said. “Stormy Daniels and her lawyer, Michael Avenatti, were in full view today on ‘The View,’ and Stormy shot back at Rudy Giuliani, who criticized her looks earlier this year.”
“The Late Show” then pulled up a clip of Daniels saying, “He looks like Toad from Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, and he’s going to talk about how I look?”
“Hmm. Mr. Toad from Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride? Let’s see. Jimmy, is she right about that?” Colbert asked as a side-by-side comparison image of Mr. Toad and Rudy Giuliani appeared on screen. Colbert appeared confused by it. “I don’t understand. I’m sorry about that. Jimmy, one of those should have been Rudy. I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.
“Anyway, well done, Stormy. And if you’re looking for Disney rides to compare Donald Trump with, rumor has it it’s Splash Mountain and It’s a Small World.”
That is, of course, a pee tape joke.
You can watch this portion of Colbert’s monologue on Wednesday night’s episode of “The Late Show” in the video embedded at the top of this post.