“The Daily Show” host Jordan Klepper mocked Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth on Thursday night over his oft-repeated “no beardos, no weirdos” military mandate, jokingly calling it the “worst Dr. Seuss book ever.”
Speaking at a Pentagon event Wednesday, Hegseth declared that the Department of War is “no longer the Woke Department or the Weak Department.” His “simple translation” of that was a mandate: “No fatties, no trannies, no beardos, no weirdos, no wimps, no radicals.”
For his part, Klepper wasted little time mocking Hegseth’s remarks.
“Wow. Worst Dr. Seuss Book ever,” the “Daily Show” host joked, adding, “This kind of rhetoric is unacceptable from our Defense Secretary. Every American, no matter who they are or what they look like, should have the chance to fight a Middle Eastern country for no clear reason. That’s the American Way!”
As part of his Wednesday speech, Hegseth launched Project Meridian, a new initiative led by “America’s best minds” and designed to “study the future of warfare.” At first, Klepper expressed some optimism about the idea, noting, “That’s certainly not the worst idea he’s ever had. I mean, for one thing, it’s the first idea that doesn’t have slurs in it, so we’re already ahead of the curve.”
The “Daily Show” comedian’s optimism evaporated once he found out that the “best minds” in charge of the initiative are going to be Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk, Anduril co-founder Palmer Luckey and former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich.
“Newt Gingrich!?! Your list of America’s Top Minds includes Newt Gingrich!?!” Klepper asked in astonishment, later telling “Daily Show” viewers, “Here’s how bad things have gotten. I’m looking at these three and I’m thinking, ‘Thank God Elon Musk is there to be the adult in the room.’”
Klepper was subsequently joined by “Daily Show” correspondent and occasional guest host Josh Johnson, who was a lot more excited about Hegseth’s plan than his colleague. “Project Meridian is gonna win the wars of the future! Wars we’re not even in yet, wars that don’t make sense,” Johnson declared.
In response, Klepper asked why Hegseth is focusing on future wars at a time when many perceive America to be losing its current war against Iran.
“He can’t win the Iran War, Jordan. He doesn’t know what he’s doing!” Johnson responded. “The Ayatollah’s bombing our bases and doing the cha-cha slide on the ruins. We just gotta reset and focus on the next war. No one’s gonna touch us in 2130 when we got Mecha Newt Gingrich walking on the battlefield.”
