Marco Rubio visited the Vatican on Thursday, and with the wind of Donald Trump’s criticisms of Pope Leo XIV at his back, offered The Holy See a gift that no one can seem to keep a straight face about – least of all Stephen Colbert.
“The White House tried to smooth over relations with the Vatican by sending Secretary of State — and non-player character in a video game about celibacy — Marco Rubio,” Colbert joked in his opening “Late Show” monologue Thursday.
Video of the widely covered meeting shows the secretary of state and Pope Leo exchanging gifts.
“Pope Leo gave Rubio a pen made out of olive wood, with Pope Leo saying, ‘Olive being, of course, the plant of peace,” Colbert said. “And not to be outdone, our government gave the pontiff … a small crystal football.”
It is exactly as described. With no punchline necessary for this highly visual joke – and by “joke” we mean the football – Colbert merely sneered: “I smell regift!”
Then Colbert turned away from the cameras and barked: “They got it with their Sports Illustrated! It came with their Sports Illustrated.”
(For those not old enough to remember, SI used to offer schlocky subscription incentives, like blooper VHS tapes, the infamous “shoe phone” that looked like a sneaker, and later a football-shaped phone. However, this crystal football, about the size of an avocado, does not make calls and apparently bears the U.S. State Department seal.)
The two-hour meeting also included Cardinal Pietro Parolin and Archbishop Paul Gallagher, covering the Middle East and other Western interests, State Department spokesperson Tommy Pigott said.
