The series finale of “Dickinson” is now streaming on Apple TV+, and for as much as fans are struggling with saying goodbye, series star Hailee Steinfeld is struggling just as much, if not more. In fact, the young actress may need a bit of time before she can even bring herself to watch it.
At this point though, Steinfeld and her castmates have had to say goodbye to “Dickinson” many times. From parting ways with each other on set to then watching the episodes as they air, it’s been a long process. But now that the series finale is available to everyone, Steinfeld admits it feels odd to know that this is really it, even though it’s “the fourth or fifth time” she’s had to face it.
“It really does because it feels like — OK, so season one ended and we got to say ‘we’ll see you in a couple months.’ And then season one was coming out while we were shooting season two, so we were sort of living off the high of both of those things,” Steinfeld explained to TheWrap last week. “And then here we are with season three knowing but not willing — I’m speaking for myself here — not willing to accept that it was our final season, in several moments. And then obviously wrapping season three feeling like ‘Oh my god, this is happening, this is it’ and then realizing that, well it hasn’t come out yet and I still get to relive this experience with the fans and with the audience.”
Steinfeld continued, “But my god you’re right, it’s crazy to say out loud, the fact that we’re actually finally here. It’s definitely gonna hit me all over again.”
What’ll hit her the most though, is truly the final moments of the episode, in which Emily is rowing out to sea. That scene was her favorite but one that hit Steinfeld like a truck while filming — and one she admits she may not actually sit down to watch for a bit.
“The very last scene of the whole thing was a moment that I still find sort of hard to describe, because I felt like — there have been moments throughout the making of this show where I personally have felt so connected, and maybe even too close to the character I’m playing and what she’s going through in that moment, that it’s almost been hard for me to comprehend what’s going on,” Steinfeld said.
The actress added that, in those moments, she turned to “Dickinson” creator Alena Smith for guidance.
“It took me stepping back and realizing that what I didn’t understand or what maybe I wasn’t necessarily willing to accept in that moment is that I myself, for instance, in season two was trying to figure out my own personal thoughts on fame and my relationship to fame,” Steinfeld continued. “And with season three, in that final moment shooting that last scene, where Emily is in that rowboat, and it’s really close up on on my face — it’s this moment of, you know, heading towards the unknown.
“The fear and the hopefulness that sort of comes with that, the excitement and the anxiety and the confidence, there’s just this array of emotions that I personally, knowing that that was my last and final scene, that that was the last time I was going to hear action and cut on the set of ‘Dickinson’ was very similar to this moment that Emily was living through. And again, hard for me to describe, and I think it will be sort of difficult for me to maybe see that if I watch it. It might take me a few weeks, but I think yeah, I had a moment there that was equally as challenging as it was really special for me.”
Of course, for as challenging as it was, it’s still a piece of work Steinfeld is hugely glad to have been a part of, and that love for the series and her co-stars is palpable in hearing her words.
“I hope that this show, much like Emily’s work, lives on and holds up,” she said. “And I think that it will. We’ve created something that I am forever so proud of. And I just can’t thank this show enough for being a part of my life and for connecting me with so many people around the world. It’s been a really incredible experience.”