Jimmy Fallon is as frustrated waiting for something to happen, or not happen, with Donald Trump’s legal situation as a lot of you likely are, and in his monologue on Friday’s “The Tonight Show,” he compared it to when someone goes into labor and then four days later still hasn’t had the baby.
Fallon got to that joke by running through several of Trump’s more recent outbursts. “I don’t know if you guys saw this, but late last night Trump threatened the Manhattan District Attorney, saying that if he’s charged, ‘death and destruction’ could follow. Americans said, ‘No way. That’s only gonna happen if they ban TikTok,” Fallon joked.
“Yep, ‘death and destruction.’ It sounds bad, but he makes the same threat when Little Caesar’s forgets his crazy bread,” Fallon continued.
“That’s right, it’s day four of Trump indictment watch 2023, and still nothing,” Fallon said, “It feels like one of those viral videos that says ‘wait for it,’ and in two minutes you’re like, ‘I don’t know if I’m gonna wait any more.”
“Four days. Four days. Basically, we all went into labor, and four days later we’re still chewing on ice chips,” Fallon added. (During labor, women typically aren’t allowed to eat anything, so they chew on ice.)
“Meanwhile,” Fallon said, changing the topic, “I heard that Melania Trump is still angry at her husband over the Stormy Daniels scandal, and doesn’t sympathize with him for facing charges. That’s shocking given how warm and affectionate she and Donald are in public.”
“You can tell Melania is mad because for the last three nights, Donald has been sleeping on the golden futon,” Fallon said. He then noted how Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said he wouldn’t be willing to serve as Trump’s Vice President, prompting Fallon to joke, “That’s shocking given how warm and affectionate they are in public.”
“I think it’s a good decision, because Don and Ron doesn’t sound like leaders of the free world. Sounds like twin brothers on TikTok,” he added.
You can watch the entire monologue at the top of the page now.