‘Hitman: Agent 47’ Assassinated by Critics: 8 Most Painful Reviews

“Dumb,” “infuriating,” and “horrible” are just a few of the adjectives used to describe Hollywood’s latest video game adaptation

Last Updated: August 20, 2015 @ 9:08 AM

“Hitman: Agent 47” appears to be the second summer misfire from the studio behind the disastrous “Fantastic Four” flop, as critics are taking shots at the video game adaptation left and right.

The action movie stars Rupert Friend as Agent 47, a genetically engineered assassin who must protect a woman (Hannah Ware) and help her discover the secret of her ancestry.

Critics are absolutely blasting the film, which holds a dismal 5 percent approval rating on RottenTomatoes.“For all its cheap talk about the importance of innovation, ‘Agent 47’ just feels like a copy of a copy of a copy,” TheWrap’s Inkoo Kang wrote in her review of the film that follows the first “Hitman” movie starring Timothy Olyphant.

Here are 7 more shots fired at the 20th Century Fox release.

Brian Tallerico of RogerEbert.com:

“Just when you think ‘Agent 47’ might get interesting–mostly in a couple fight scenes with Quinto, who at least seems like he’s the only one having a good time–director Alexsander Bach and writers Skip Woods and Michael Finch go back to the same slo-mo, dull action well again. There’s no character worth caring about, no performance that registers, and no visual style to really note. It’s almost a non-movie.”

Kyle Anderson of Entertainment Weekly:

“Before you consider anything about ‘Hitman: Agent 47,’ before the story or characters or action set pieces or fast cars or copious firepower, there’s one fundamental thing to remember: The movie is profoundly dumb.”

Fionnuala Halligan of Screen Daily:

“The music, the shots, the futuristic interiors, the costumes, the hair (Friend’s bald pate, Quinto’s fearsomely groomed floppy barnet) – they’re facsimiles of cool which are just a key off from the get-go in a genre which, like the assassins themselves, requires perfect timing and precision to survive.”

Jordan Hoffman from The Guardian:

“People are racing around talking to one another on mobiles with tiny earpieces nowhere near their mouths and everything sounds clear with nary a dropped signal. It’s infuriating. And, more to the point, with a movie this fundamentally uninteresting, there’s plenty of room to sit in the audience and muse on such issues.”

Matt Prigge of Metro:

“47 wants to stop a resuscitation of this top secret program, which is like ‘Bourne’ but with tailored suits. That, of course, means he wants to stop a franchise that too has revived itself for unsavory reasons. (The main baddie, played by Thomas Kretschmann, never leaves his ivory tower office, much like a studio head.)”

Mike Reyes of Cinema Blend:

“For all of the rumors of ‘Fantastic Four’ being an underdeveloped, over-edited film with a moody overtone forced upon it, I wouldn’t be surprised if whoever was responsible for the horrible changes to that film got their hands on ‘Hitman: Agent 47’ and went to town.”

William Bibbiani of Crave:

“The plot, such as it is, soon disappears almost entirely, and ‘Hitman: Agent 47’ starts traveling on rigid rails from one set piece to another, pausing only occasionally to ponder the meaning of existence and then come to high school philosophy conclusions about it.”