The actor/writer/director/student/teacher/who-knows-what-else-wrote a review of "Gatsby" for Vice Wednesday. And if you were assuming that no one could eloquently compare Gatsby's relationship with Daisy to graphically recalling awkward high-school intimacy, you'd be dead wrong.
Here's an excerpt from the "127 Hours" star's critique:
"Gatsby’s desire is revealed to be that of a 16-year-old boy: Not only does he want to win Daisy, he wants to control her affections. It reminds me of my high-school relationships, where I tortured girlfriends for getting fingered by other boys when they were freshmen. Just move on, dude."
Also read: 'Great Gatsby' Early Reviews Are Mixed
In the piece, Franco calls the critics who have ravaged the film for not being loyal to the novel "hypocrites," comparing their critiques of books and films no different to Luhrmann's critic of the book on film.
He goes on to make some interesting analogies within the Hollywood world. Franco compares Luhrmann's challenge with "Gatsby" to the one Walter Sales faced with "On the Road." As Franco puts it, the hurdle is "how to stay loyal to the era depicted, while still retaining the rawness of the original text."
The sometimes soap-opera actor also compares Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire's on-screen relationship to their off-screen one — well, with the exception of the homoeroticism between characters Jay and Nick.
Finally, Franco defends the controversial use of modern culture in the adaptation of the classic novel, and even director Luhrmann's use of 3D, saying, "Frankly it’s a nonissue. It works and is neither distracting nor game-changing. You just deal with it because you want to. It’s fun to watch."