Jimmy Kimmel Wants to Mediate Dispute Between Donald Trump and Stormy Daniels on His Show (Video)
“I don’t know about you, but I’m still rooting for those two crazy kids,” Kimmel joked on Wednesday night
Phil Owen | March 8, 2018 @ 6:27 AM
Last Updated: March 8, 2018 @ 6:42 AM
During Wednesday night’s monologue on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” Jimmy Kimmel addressed the emerging legal entanglement between Donald Trump and porn star Stormy Daniels.
At the moment, the situation revolves around a lawsuit Daniels filed Tuesday claiming that the confidentiality agreement she signed that kept her quiet about her illicit affair with the president was not valid because Trump never signed it. Kimmel went in on that aspect to begin his discussion, even going so far as to show the signature page onscreen.
“In the agreement, which was written to keep the parties involved anonymous — in the contract, Stormy was called ‘Peggy Peterson,’ so she signed above the initials ‘PP’. Trump was known — this is not a joke! This is what happened. Trump was known as ‘David Dennison.’ And you’ll see there’s no signature next to the initials DD. And by the way, even his initials have to be double Ds,” Kimmel joked. “But that’s our President. President Dennison.”
Kimmel did, of course, slip in a brief mention of the “confidential information” in the form of a “still image” — aka the “penis portrait,” as Stephen Colbert described it — that dominated the late night circuit on Wednesday, but moved on to explain how hilarious it is that Trump never reimbursed his lawyer for paying off Daniels.
“The hush money was paid about a week before the election. And this is a nice detail. According to the Wall Street Journal, Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen — the one who put up the $130,000 — complained to friends that Trump still hadn’t paid him back. Which, who are these people who loan Donald Trump money and think they are going to get paid back?” Kimmel said. “My rule of thumb is never lend money to anyone who had a fake university. That’s just how I roll. But, of course, he loaned the money to David Dennison, not Donald Trump.”
Kimmel ended the segment by offering offering to help Trump and Daniels sort this whole thing out — on his show, of course.
“I feel like there’s a lot of tension between Stormy Daniels and the President right now. And I hate it when couples fight so, listen guys, if you are willing I’d be happy to have you both on the show, to act as a mediator.” Kimmel said. “I don’t know about you, but I’m still rooting for those two crazy kids.”
To see these jokes and the rest of Kimmel’s monologue from Wednesday, check out the video embedded at the top of this post or on YouTube.
13 Best and Worst Oscars Moments, From Frances McDormand's Speech to Gael Garcia Bernal's Singing (Photos)
Although the set design was way over the top with gothic chandeliers and abstract light installations, the 90th Academy Awards were filled with heartwarming but also gut-wrenching moments
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BEST: Rita Moreno
Literally everything about Rita Moreno rocked on Sunday night. Not only did she wear parts of her 1962 Oscars dress when she won an award for “West Side Story, but she also delivered maybe the most over-the-top yet amazing laugh when opening an envelope. Also, Moreno hasn’t aged one day.
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WORST: Set Design
From bizarre eastern-inspired columns and altars, gothic chandeliers, abstract light installations and what looks like two Lady Gaga shoulder pads framing the stage, we have no idea what in God's name was going on with set design this year.
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BEST: Old-Timey Opening Package
For just a split second, you couldn’t tell whether the 2018 Oscars telecast had begun, but soon it became clear that the old-timey film spool was serving as the opening to the awards show. Presented in black and white, the package poked fun at Emma Stone and Armie Hammer and honed in on attendees in the audience -- and at the end, it was revealed that Jimmy Kimmel was narrating the package in the antique voiceover style.
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WORST: Gael Garcia Bernal Singing "Remember Me"
Gael Garcia Bernal singing nominated song "Remember Me" from Oscar-winning film "Coco" wasn't on point. Sure, it was maybe meant to be endearing, but Bernal's performance missed the mark. But we're kind of relieved there is something Bernal isn't good at.
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BEST: Helen Mirren's Jet Ski Pose
Jimmy Kimmel surprised everyone with a need-for-speed gift -- whoever gave the shortest acceptance speech would win a jet ski. And who better to present the jet ski than Dame Helen Mirren? Mark Bridges ended up taking the jet ski home -- along with an Oscar for Best Costume Design for “The Phantom Thread.”
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WORST: "Star Wars" Stars Banter With BB-8
Kelly Marie Tran, Oscar Isaac and Mark Hamill took the stage with BB-8 for some endearing and light-hearted banter, but the audience just kind of politely applauded to humor the group.
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BEST: Mark Wahlberg/Michelle Williams Joke
While Mark Wahlberg glossed over the uncomfortable truth with a $1.5 million donation to Time’s Up, Oscar host Kimmel was not going to let the audience forget that the movie star was paid all that cash for reshoots on “All the Money in the World.” His costar Michelle Williams only got her per diem of $80 per day, and the pair have the same agency in WME, run by Wahlberg's rep Ari Emanuel. “If we can’t trust agents, who can we trust?” Kimmel joked.
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WORST: Joyless Oscar Audience Watching Ecstatic Normals Getting Visited by Celebrities
Jimmy Kimmel improved on his tour bus bit from last year by taking an undercover group of nominees and stars into a nearby advance screening of “A Wrinkle in Time.” Armed with a hot dog gun, buckets of candy and even a huge sub sandwich, stars like Gal Gadot and Emily Blunt shocked regular moviegoers by crashing their evening. The big screen inside the theater reverted to a live shot of the Oscars audience, who looked bored and unimpressed by the stunt.
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BEST: Allison Janney Thanks the "I, Tonya" Bird
When Janney won Best Supporting Actress for her role in "I, Tonya," she thanked the legendary bird for her award.
"To my 'I, Tonya' family: the magnificent Margot Robbie, the fearless Craig Gillespie, a cast and crew and bird that elevated my work," she said.
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BEST: Dreamers Mention From Lupita Nyong'o and Kumail Nanjiani
Kumail Nanjiani and Lupita Nyong'o took their time on stage to share a powerful message for the Dreamers -- the recipients of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals immigration program, which had a supposed end date on Monday after Trump ended DACA in September.
"Like everyone in this room and everyone watching at home, we are dreamers," Nyong'o said. "We grew up dreaming of one day working in the movies. Dreams are the foundation of Hollywood, and dreams are the foundation of America."
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BEST: Tiffany Haddish and Maya Rudolph Presenting
The two comedians had the entire audience in tears when they came on stage in their gowns and slippers, and Haddish told Meryl Streep that she wanted her to be her "mama one day."
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BEST: "This Is Me" Performance
Keala Settle moved everyone to tears with her performance of "This Is Us" from "The Greatest Showman," getting everyone in the audience moving and singing along.
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BEST: Frances McDormand's Acceptance Speech
Frances McDormand was so shaken by her Best Actress win that she told the audience to pick her up if she falls down "because she has some things to say." She then invited every female Oscar nominee in the room to stand up, bringing many to tears. She then urged listeners to help tell female stories and finished her speech with "Inclusion Rider."
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Probably the best moment of the night — no Best Picture flub this year
Although the set design was way over the top with gothic chandeliers and abstract light installations, the 90th Academy Awards were filled with heartwarming but also gut-wrenching moments
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