Jon Stewart returned to the Ray Rice-NFL fiasco on Wednesday night, running down a complete history of the incident of domestic violence that has snowballed into outrage and an alleged cover-up this week.
“Here’s my main question: Back in July, the NFL felt this crime was only worthy of a two-game suspension, and now suddenly, it’s a lifetime of exile. So what changed?”
That’s obviously what everyone else wants to know; as super agent Leigh Steinberg told TheWrap earlier this week, it should not have required full video evidence to more harshly punish Ray Rice. Goodell took pains to explain himself during an interview with CBS, but mostly just blamed the (very disputed) fact that the league wasn’t given the tape until it was published on TMZ.
“You were never granted that opportunity? Really? The king of video never bestowed upon you the opportunity?” Stewart guffawed, in an old English accent. “For you are just a simple peasant boy commissioner, armed with only your wits, the clothes upon your back, and millions of dollars worth of the most high-powered team of lawyers in the history of man. Oh little Oliver, please sir, may I see the tape?”
Then, Stewart hit the tape on the AP story, which suggested that NJ law enforcement sent the tape to the NFL in April.
“You done fucked up,” Stewart told the league. “So you had the tape, and you want us to believe that you did not look at it? Well I think we’re all pretty aware of the NFL’s obsessive-compulsive tape-watching addictions. For god’s sake, you get 24 angles in high-def slow motion just to see whether a man’s knee goes over an imaginary line before his hand crosses a different imaginary line.”
(He was talking about instant replay, the bane of all NFL fans).
“So, NFL, perhaps next time you attempt to bury the damaging information about your league’s conduct, I guess we’ll know to throw the red challenge flag.”