Schoolteachers who want to bust students for watching Guy Ritchie’s “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword” instead of doing the reading should be on the lookout for phrases like “kaiju elephants,” “martial-arts training” and “snake-bite hallucinations” in future book reports.
This is not your father’s Camelot legend, as “King Arthur” proclaims from scene to scene, and whether or not you embrace this jacked-up take on the once and future king will rely entirely on your tolerance for Ritchie’s filmmaking at its most caffeinated. There are quick cuts and CG imagery and bro-ing out in nearly equal proportions; I found some of this excess to be heady and exciting, but by the end of the film’s running time, it all became a bit tiresome, to say nothing of tiring.
What Ritchie (and fellow screenwriters Joby Harold and Lionel Wigram) offer here is a remix of the Arthurian legend, playing around with the chronology and sampling bits of other origin stories, from Moses (orphaned baby Arthur is set adrift down the Thames on a raft) to “Batman Begins” (as a child, he’s trained in the martial arts by the one Asian guy in all of Londinium, a character the film actually refers to as “Kung Fu George,” played by Tom Wu of “Marco Polo”).
Arthur’s childhood is handled in a montage that shows Ritchie at his French-New-Wave-on-speed best, a series of smackdowns and humiliations that build the child to grow from victim to a full-grown prince of thieves. Once the character matures into Charlie Hunnam (sporting the same mildly-perturbed expression that made up the bulk of his “Lost City of Z” performance), he’s strong and savvy, standing apart in the grimy London streets and cutting a figure in ecru casual separates.
(The movie accentuates the relative brightness of his wardrobe with an overhead shot of Arthur in a packed barge, surrounded by people in brown and black. One is reminded of a line from a superior version of this tale, “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” in which a peasant observes that Arthur “must be a king” because “he hasn’t got s–t all over him.”)
Perfectly happy as a scoundrel, Arthur’s life takes a turn when he pulls legendary magic sword Excalibur out of the stone, putting him at odds with evil king Vortigem (Jude Law); uncle Vortigem once studied with evil wizard Mordred before murdering Arthur’s father Uther Pendragon (Eric Bana) to take the throne. Uther’s allies Bedivere (Djimon Hounsou) and William (Aidan Gillen), with the help of a supportive and unnamed mage (Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides”), push Arthur into leading their revolution, although in true Joseph Campbell style, this reluctant hero refuses over and over before finally accepting his destiny.
Ritchie and his regular editor James Herbert cut up the action scenes with the desperation of the life of the party who’s secretly afraid to go home to his empty apartment. “King Arthur” seems constantly panicked that the audience’s attention span won’t last another second, so each moment is a frenzy of sight and sound (particularly Daniel Pemberton’s emphatically percussive score), and the ultimate effect is more exhausting than exhilarating.
At one point, the director even straps GoPro cameras to his actors as they run through the streets, so they’ll stay static in the frame while the background jostles by; the exact same shot pops up in the new comedy “Snatched,” only played for laughs. (If Robert Bresson’s “Lancelot of the Lake” has an antithesis, “King Arthur” is it.)
Amidst the frantic cutting, Ritchie keeps loading on the phallic imagery: Arthur’s power derives from his sword, while Vortigem must be stopped from completing his tall, tall tower. And then there are the constant snakes: some challenge Arthur or provide him with hallucinogenic venom, while Vortigem receives advice from a group of serpent women who appear to have swum in from “The Little Mermaid.”
This isn’t an actor’s movie, although Law does at least find a few moments to play Vortigem like a preening Mussolini, shouting at the assembled masses while swathed in fur and eagle-head epaulets. Otherwise, the characters are there to move the story along and to be consistently heroic or villainous throughout.
In a sense, Arthur — aristocrat by nature, thug by nurture — is the ideal Ritchie hero; the filmmaker’s lineage can be traced back to Edward I, but he’s spent most of his directing career celebrating small-time gangsters (“Snatch,” “RocknRolla”) and backing the proletariat in the class struggle (“Swept Away”).
If you like Guy Ritchie in blam-blam-blam mode, then “King Arthur” will be your grail of mead; those who prefer his work on a film like “The Man from UNCLE” — which feels like “My Dinner with Andre” compared to the hyperkineticism on display here — may find that there’s too much “a lot” in this Camelot.
13 Riskiest, Priciest Bets of Summer 2017 Movies, From 'King Arthur' to 'The Dark Tower' (Photos)
Summertime might seem like a pure cash grab for studios stagnant with awards hangovers -- but trust us, there are plenty of Hail Mary passes getting tossed all along the hotter months. Here's the TheWrap's tally of biggest gambles coming, from "King Arthur" to "Cars 3."
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King Arthur: Legend of the Sword May 12
In a kingdom of Hollywood action stars, Charlie Hunnam is certainly among the fairest -- but he's largely untested in the marketplace, especially packing IP as dusty as King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. Combine that with the much-delayed release date and director Guy Ritchie -- whose last Warner outing, "The Man From U.N.C.L.E.," was a visual feast and a lot of fun but failed to resonate worldwide -- and this is certainly risky business. Hopefully the studio can pull a sword out of stone on this one.
Warner Bros.
Snatched May 12
It's been 14 years since Goldie Hawn graced the big screen, and she returns in an action comedy playing Amy Schumer's mom. The onscreen pair are irresistible in interviews and early promotional appearances, but this film does not have the Judd Apatow halo afforded Schumer on her debut "Trainwreck." The good news? Schumer is a huge star now, and while she did not write the screenplay here she seems to have infused the project with her brand of rivaling self-deprecation and empowerment. The bad news? Director Jonathan Levine has not been around since his underperforming YA project "Warm Bodies" in 2013. Time will tell if this comedy snatches an audience.
20th Century Fox
Everything, Everything May 19
If "Everything, Everything" were on a roulette table, we'd be happy to put our chips down -- despite the fact that this is the first major outing for Stella Meghie (director of the SXSW gem "Jean of the Joneses") and a big test for internet-beloved actress/activist Amandla Stenberg. This interracial youth romance has grassroots potential with a Warner Bros. marketing budget.
Warner Bros.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales May 26
How do we solve a problem like Johnny Depp? It's no secret that he's had a terrible fun of box office luck. But that Captain Jack Sparrow costume has always been kind to Depp -- and a veritable cash machine for Disney. But it's been six years, and a hell of a lot of personal drama, since Depp played the swashbuckler. Javier Bardem lends some star power as an undead villain, but there's no telling if "Dead Man" has a pulse.
Disney
Wonder Woman June 2
Warner Bros.' DC Comics universe has produced solid hits like "Suicide Squad" and "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice," but they haven't performed as well financially -- or critically -- as Disney's Marvel universe. Can "Wonder Woman" right the ship?
Warner Bros.
The Mummy June 9
Tom Cruise has an impeccable action-movie track record, but rebooting Universal's storied monster movie universe is a hell of a mission for a horror newbie. Sofia Boutella's menacing supernatural villain looked fantastic in early footage, though, and it features an action sequence with a zero-gravity escape from a crashing plane.
Universal
All Eyez on Me June 16
Legendary rapper Tupac Shakur was gunned down in Las Vegas 21 years ago. Given the strength of Universal's "Straight Outta Compton," it's encouraging to see another '90s hip-hop icon's life story on screen. Now we'll see if audiences get hype to the tune of "Compton"'s $200 million worldwide take.
Lionsgate/Summit
Cars 3 June 16
Yeah, yeah, Pixar has a bulletproof library of beloved animated films — but there’s something to be said for being the bridesmaid on a shelf of brides. The “Cars” franchise is that bridesmaid, and it's another summer sequel that has taken six years to sputter back to the big screen. Despite star voices from Owen Wilson and Armie Hammer, who really needs to buckle up for another adventure here?
Disney
Spider-Man: Homecoming July 7
After Andrew Garfield hung up his red costume two movies into a planned trilogy, Sony teamed with Marvel to reboot Spider-Man once again. The new Spidey, Tom Holland, was a standout in his introduction in last year's "Captain America: Civil War," but audiences may tire of seeing a third Peter Parker back in high school. And director Jon Watts is untested with big-budget movies -- his last outing, "Cop Car," earned just $135,000.
Sony Pictures
Dunkirk July 21
A big strand of the Christopher Nolan brand DNA is that the director is a massive earner — but divorced from the Batman franchise, the highly-sensitive and meticulous filmmaker might not deliver the same results. Especially with “Dunkirk,” a gravely serious retelling of WWII’s Battle of Dunkirk. Brief, starry glimmers of Tom Hardy and the screen debut of pop crooner Harry Styles aside, this Warner Bros. release is surely a box office battle test -- especially slotted in summertime.
Warner Bros.
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets July 12
If anyone knows outer space as high art, it’s director Luc Besson — who is also a Queenmaker in the realm of female action stars (Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson, to name a few). “Valerian,” however, has an astounding reported budget of $208 million and no bankable stars (sorry, Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne).
STX
The Dark Tower August 4
Stephen King’s multi-book saga is one of the hottest properties surrounded by a powerful fandom — and the movie has languished in development for decades. After a few date shuffles and a promising show of footage at CinemaCon this year, Sony and MRC will finally birth the Idris Elba-Matthew McConaughey epic. But it has to work, and big, if planned film sequels and TV spinoffs are to follow.
Sony Pictures
The Emoji Movie
August 4
The tiny icons have made texting a lot more informal -- and universally understood across languages -- but is there really enough for a feature film? Sony will soon find out. Bonus points for serious placement partners in apps like Spotify, and getting Patrick Stewart to voice the very popular poo emoji.
Sony Pictures Animation
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Big bets, big budgets and potentially big payoffs in store as these movies hit the hottest months of the year
Summertime might seem like a pure cash grab for studios stagnant with awards hangovers -- but trust us, there are plenty of Hail Mary passes getting tossed all along the hotter months. Here's the TheWrap's tally of biggest gambles coming, from "King Arthur" to "Cars 3."