Jimmy Kimmel spent a majority of his monologue Thursday night roasting Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. for once cutting the penis off a dead raccoon on the side of the road, jokingly calling it the “original ending to ‘Zootopia.’”
The incident in question is detailed in “RFK Jr.: The Fall and Rise,” a biography published this week and written by Isabel Vincent, which features entries from some of Kennedy’s past personal diaries. In one of them, he describes cutting the penis off a dead raccoon on the side of the road before taking it back to the car where his wife and children were waiting while thinking about “how weird some of my family members have turned out to be.”
“I don’t know. I grew up in the ’80s. Whose dad didn’t pull over to carve out a raccoon penis and study it later? I think that was the original ending to ‘Zootopia,’ right?” Kimmel joked. “He thinks his family turned out weird? This is like if Jeffrey Dahmer said, ‘Oh, gross, Dad, what are you eating?’”
“Here’s another weird thing: Raccoon Penis? Also JD Vance’s Secret Service code name,” the “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” host remarked.
“I remember a time in this country when we ended [former Vice President] Dan Quayle’s career because he misspelled the word ‘potato,’” Kimmel later mused. “Now we have this guy telling us what to put in our bodies who can’t drive past a festering animal without beheading its boner and throwing it in the backseat with his kids.”
“I do want to say, I think some of what he’s trying to do is good. You know, promoting healthy foods, no red dyes. But most of what he’s doing is insane,” he noted. To prove his point, Kimmel rolled a clip from the HHS secretary’s hearing Thursday in front of the House Ways and Means Committee.
During one contentious moment, Kennedy was confronted about previously stating that Black children in America are routinely put on Adderall, SSRIs and Benzos, which are known to induce violence, and that they would have to go somewhere to be “re-parented.” Kennedy denied having ever said that, remarking during the hearing, “I don’t even know what that phrase means.”
Kimmel, however, followed that clip up with one of the HHS secretary saying exactly what he said he never did.
“Reparently, he did say it,” the comedian pointed out. “Think about how crazy you have to be to say something like that and then not only do you have no recollection of it, you think it sounds nuts and makes no sense! That’s the guy in charge of our children’s medications.”
