Mystery Executive Speaks! Says You Should ‘Kick Someone in the Crotch’

“The reason I started an anonymous Twitter account was to bring something back that I missed about the movies: magic and mystery”

There’s a little less mystery today behind @MysteryExec, the Chivas-swilling, heavy metal-blasting, convention-shucking presumed Hollywood muckety-muck whose anonymous, rant-happy Twitter account has become an entertainment industry must-follow in the past couple of years — and whose true identity remains safely under wraps (for now).

Stepping out from his usual 140-characters-at-a-time format, Mystery Executive let loose with something closer to 400 words in a guest column that covered his favorite topics: subversive storytelling, supporting a grand vision over the same old Hollywood tropes and, of course, himself.

“The reason I started an anonymous Twitter account was to bring something back that I missed about the movies: magic and mystery,” he wrote in a blog posted Wednesday on Tribeca Film’s website. “I never knew if the account would take off in any way outside of a handful of folks who stumbled onto it early on, but it became something I never expected. Something unexpected happened: I started giving a shit. People felt empowered.”

Indeed, those people — 6,464 followers and always rising, as of this writing — have made ME a rallying point to rant against crappy dialogue, been-there-done-that storylines, latent misogyny in screenwriting and all manner of bullshit that one must suffer to survive Hollywood.

And what started as a whim has become a mini-movement. Mystery Executive’s gambit gave rise to an entire community of “mystery” Twitter accounts, including his deliciously sardonic colleague @MysteryVP, the mischievous and mercurial @MysteryHelmer, and the salty, saucy and sultry @MysteryActress — just to name a few.

When the account first launched, his profile offered a $1,000 bounty to anyone who could figure out who he is — all you had to do was call his office and ask for “Mystery Executive.” Whether that offer still stands isn’t clear.

I haven’t worked up the nerve to pick up the phone and dial, nor do I plan to; like ME, I prefer a little mystery in life. But according to the man himself, others have:

“A handful of people in town have already figured out who I am and they’ve maintained their silence,” he wrote. “I hope symbolically that represents the next wave of people taking charge. Take risks. Kick someone in the crotch.”

Click over to to see ME’s full crotch-kicking rant.