We've Got Hollywood Covered

Paul Ryan and Papa Roach’s ‘Last Resort': Twitter Loves a Story Too Funny To Be True

A fake screenshot of a New York Times story suggests Paul Ryan dealt with the defeat of the American Health Care Act by blasting Papa Roach’s 2000 hit single

After the health care defeat suffered by Speaker of the House Paul Ryan and President Trump, did Ryan really console himself with the music of Nu Metal band Papa Roach? No. But thanks to a hilarious Photoshop job by humorist Justin Halpern, Twitter has decided a story too good to be true should just be declared true.

The background: Despite months of campaign promises, Ryan and Trump were unable to whip up the votes necessary to pass the GOP bill that would “repeal and replace” the Affordable Care Act — a.k.a. “Obamacare.” This even though their party controls both houses of Congress. And so Trump ordered Ryan to withdraw the bill, and Ryan glumly admitted that the ACA is still “law of the land.”

Unsurprisingly, Twitter pounced on both Ryan and Trump with an avalanche of mockery. And the best gag at Ryan’s expense came courtesy of Justin Halpern, creator of the successful Twitter account-turned-CBS sitcom, “S— My Dad Says.” Halpern convincingly photoshopped a fragment of a New York Times story, to make it look as though it detailed how the House Speaker had entered a deep depression after failing to take health care away from 24 million people.

Papa Roach’s song “Last Resort,” of course, is an angsty 2000 song about depression and suicide. It’s the one that goes “Cut my life into pieces/this is my last resort/Suffocation, no breathing/don’t give a f— if I cut my arm, bleeding.”

The story might be too ridiculous to be true, but Ryan has repeatedly demonstrated a decidedly bro-ish personal aesthetic. Which might explain why, once the story started blowing up on Twitter, people just took it at face value like it was the most plausible thing in the world.

In reality, the story ends with a quick rundown of elements of the bill, including that it would have cut funding to Planned Parenthood. There’s also a quote from Ryan saying the bill included some big wins for conservatives.

Unfortunately, none of it nearly as fun as Ryan driving away angry and immersing himself in the soothing tones of Papa Roach.