Screwball comedies work when two mismatched people just happened to have each other’s missing parts. They only really click when they’re together.
John Patrick’s Shanley’s “The Portuguese Kid” is all about a man and woman who are mismatched from the get-go and never click to make a complete couple. In more ways than one, “The Portuguese Kid,” which opened Tuesday at MTC’s City Center Stage 1, isn’t classic screwball. Shanley, who also directs, has attempted to write a warm-hearted farce. But where the heart ought to be there’s nothing but the shifting gears of a playwright pushing characters into outlandish situations that are rarely amusing.
In Shanley’s Oscar-winning screenplay for “Moonstruck,” he could ramp up the romance by cutting to the Manhattan skyline or the Lincoln Center fountain at night, with a Puccini aria blaring on the soundtrack.
When Shanley attempts to get sentimental in “The Portuguese Kid,” he has his actors look up at a cardboard moon on John Lee Beatty’s painted set. Or he requires “Seinfeld” alum Jason Alexander’s character to morph suddenly into a human being, because the guy’s undergoing the “indignity of survival.”
Alexander plays a not very good lawyer named Barry Dragonetti. We know he’s not very good because his mother (Mary Testa) is his secretary. When we meet Barry, he’s in the middle of a big argument with a recently widowed woman, Atalanta Lagana (Sherie Rene Scott), who’s looking to sell her manse in Providence, Rhode Island. All three have a real history, because Atalanta knows Barry’s secretary-mother well enough to hate her, and the feeling is mutual.
Shanley gets off to a decent start with that first scene, even though Alexander isn’t quite matching Scott’s nervous energy. It doesn’t matter, because Testa soon enters and walks off with the scene, even though she has the fewest lines. Unlike Alexander, who’s relaxed in his comic delivery but isn’t big enough, Testa can do big even when she’s offstage. And unlike Scott, Testa can also be relaxed while being very big.
Unfortunately, the following three scenes focus on Aimee Carrero, who plays Barry’s much younger wife, and Pico Alexander, as Atalanta’s much younger boyfriend. Shanley has directed the younger actors to match Scott’s Energizer Bunny mannerisms tic for nervous tic.
Jason Alexander should be credited for not delivering an equally fraught performance, even when the writing calls for it. Maybe he’s muted because late in “The Portuguese Kid” Barry Dragonetti is required to resemble a human being and show real despair, as well as other human attributes that are spectacularly unfunny.
The play’s title comes from Barry’s misconception that he was mugged long ago by a Portuguese boy, whom he believes has grown up to be Atalanta’s lover even though the young man is actually Italian. Shanley’s other recurring bit concerns whether or not Barry voted for Donald Trump. As limping gags go, it’s difficult to say which exhausts our patience first.
7 of the Worst TV Series Finales: From 'Seinfeld' to 'Girls' (Photos)
Sometimes your zeal and dedication to a TV show turns out to be one big disappointment once it all comes to an end. Now that we embark on the 20th anniversary of the widely reviled "Seinfeld" finale episode, here are examples from some of television's best shows of all time -- which, sadly, also became famous for their epically bad series endings.
Various
"Seinfeld"
The series finale of the beloved "show about nothing," which aired on May 14, 1998, went down in history as an epic flop. Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld), George (Jason Alexander), Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and Kramer (Michael Richards) end up in prison for violating the "Good Samaritan" law. In the last shot, we see Jerry performing stand-up to his fellow inmates. Fans simply found it weird.
NBC
"How I Met Your Mother"
The CBS show had a cult following for the near-decade it was on the air. It followed the life of Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor) in New York City. Everyone's favorite perpetually single architect was always on the lookout for love. He eventually finds it in the very last season, but ends up going back -- in the series finale -- to Robin Scherbatsky (Cobie Smulders), his friend that he's been in love with since they met in the first episode of the season. The recreated first date from the first season was cute, but fans were annoyed to see Ted and Robin together after spending the entire season leading up to Robin and Barney's (Neil Patrick Harris) wedding.
CBS
"Lost"
Fans were upset with the finale of "Lost" for one of two reasons: It was either too confusing or not confusing enough. For many die-hard "Lost" fans, they loved the mystery of the show and the finale was satisfying enough. For the many others, however, the strange is-this-real-or-not feeling was just too much to handle.
ABC
"Dexter"
Some thought that "Dexter" went on past its prime, and that resulted in an unsatisfactory finale. For a show that started out strong, many fans were left feeling disappointed that a once-great drama was unable to be redeemed.
Showtime
"Weeds"
For a show that once brought Showtime some of its highest ratings, "Weeds" went on a few seasons too long in the eyes of many fans. By the time the series finale rolled around, a lot of dedicated viewers saw its time-jump forward as a cop-out.
Showtime
"Roseanne"
For a show that pushed so many boundaries, the series finale of its original run was a gut-punch to fans -- who found out that many of the things they loved about the comedy weren't true at all. Much of it came from Roseanne's imagination as she reveals in the last show.
ABC
"Girls"
The series ending to "Girls" was confusing to say the least and felt more like an epilogue. The penultimate episode, "Goodbye Tour," felt much more like a finale to fans, wrapping up with the four main characters dancing the night away together. The actual finale, "Latching," revolved around Marnie (Allison Williams) and Hannah (Lena Dunham) taking care of Hannah's baby in upstate New York. There was a whole lot of yelling and nudity -- and fans didn't really dig it.
Sometimes what starts out as a good thing can end up so, so wrong
Sometimes your zeal and dedication to a TV show turns out to be one big disappointment once it all comes to an end. Now that we embark on the 20th anniversary of the widely reviled "Seinfeld" finale episode, here are examples from some of television's best shows of all time -- which, sadly, also became famous for their epically bad series endings.
Robert Hofler, TheWrap's lead theater critic, has worked as an editor at Life, Us Weekly and Variety. His books include "The Man Who Invented Rock Hudson," "Party Animals," and "Sexplosion: From Andy Warhol to A Clockwork Orange, How a Generation of Pop Rebels Broke All the Taboos." His latest book, "Money, Murder, and Dominick Dunne," is now in paperback.