Ricky Gervais Uses Logic to Convince David Letterman Not to Retire (Video)

The Emmy nominee tells Letterman that he doesn’t realize how bored he’ll be talking to people without being paid for it

Bless Ricky Gervais and his cynical heart. Last night on “The Late Show,” he didn’t just give David Letterman the usual “Don’t go!” platitudes; he actually gave Letterman some very practical reasons why he shouldn’t leave.

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“You think you’re going to spend more time with your family,” Gervais said. “But they have a routine. You’ll be in the way. You’re going to spend a lot of time in a shed pretending to do stuff.” Besides, says the ever-practical Gervais, “You’re going to be sitting around listening to people talk and saying, ‘I’m not getting paid a thing for this!’”

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Letterman still has time to figure out what he’s going to do, as his retirement will be on some still-undetermined date in 2015. Maybe, as he proposed, he’ll join forces with Gervais and band leader Paul Shaffer, and take their act on the road.

“What’s he going to do?” Gervais said, looking at Shaffer. “You’re going to have to take him home with you, like kids do with a school hamster for the weekend.”