Donald Trump keeps giving long speeches at campaign rallies, and the more he does, the less sense they make. Seth Meyers decided to spend the bulk of a new “A Closer Look” segment on Tuesday night’s “Late Night” going through a bunch of nonsensical clips from his latest speech.
“Trump last night made another stop on his Orange Collar Comedy Tour, where he held a spectacularly unhinged rally in South Carolina,” Meyers said to open the segment. “Now, these rallies are very much like public therapy sessions for Trump. But as things get worse for Trump politically and legally, these speeches seem to get weirder. And last night was no exception. Because he was all over the place.”
“Late Night” then played a montage of Trump’s weirdest lines from the event, culminating with this one: “You know, they call them ‘the elites.’ ‘The elites.’ You know what you are? You’re the super elites. I’m changing titles. We are the super elite.”
“He is so dumb, he doesn’t even understand that ‘elites’ was supposed to be an insult,” Meyers said after the montage. ” ‘They call Democrats out of touch intellectuals. Well, I say we’re further out of touch super intellectuals.’ Seriously, think about all those random topics he just rambled on about at an official campaign rally. Trump isn’t the president. He’s more like one of the s—-y algorithms that suggest other articles you might want to read. If you like ‘build the wall,’ you might also like ‘the Olympics,’ ‘Arnold Schwarzenegger’ and ‘rich guys love rockets.’ “
From here, we’ll just sample a few of the lines that Meyers took aim at, just quoting them and Meyers’ response. First, Trump’s admission that he loves to compliment himself.
Trump: “Sometimes you have to toot your own horn. Because nobody else is going to do it. Certainly, they’re not going to do it.”
Seth Meyers: “Oh, you just figured that out? You’ve been putting your name on buildings for 40 years and you just decided it’s time to toot your own horn? Also, you don’t toot. You are constantly blowing your horn. Your mouth is like a vuvuzela at the World Cup. In fact, your rallies would make exactly the same amount of sense if they sounded like this.”
“Late Night” then played a clip of Trump speaking where every time he opened his mouth the horrifying sound of a vuvuzela came out instead of his voice.
Next, the David Lynch situation. Trump’s quote here is hard to parse because he talks over himself multiple times, but here’s what he said. This is the actual quote. It’s probably best to watch the video of this part if you haven’t.
Trump: “David Lynch, you know the great filmmaker. David Lynch! He puts down headline, ‘Trump could go down’ — this is a Hollywood guy. The reason I do this is, you know, you don’t hear this, and plenty of them voted for me. Plenty of them voted for me. David Lynch — ‘could go down as one of the greatest presidents in history.’ “
Seth Meyers: “I mean it’s weird, but I guess it would make sense if David Lynch liked Donald Trump. Donald Trump is like the president from a dream sequence in an episode of ‘Twin Peaks.’ “
Then “Late Night” played a clip of Trump talking to Kyle MacLachlan’s Agent Cooper in the Black Lodge, with all of Trump’s words coming out backwards like those of the Man From Another Place.
Lynch, by the way, clarified his comment on Tuesday, saying that “if you continue as you have been, you will not have a chance to go down in history as a great president. This would be very sad it seems for you – and for the country. You are causing suffering and division.”
And then, Trump claimed that his border wall is already being built even though that is not true.
Trump: “If you don’t have borders, you don’t have a country. You don’t have a country.”
The crowd at the rally: “Build that wall. Build that wall. Build that wall.”
Trump: “Oh, it’s happening. It’s not ‘build that wall’ anymore. It’s ‘continue building that wall.’ “
Seth Meyers: “Continue building that wall? Not only is that wrong, it’s a much worse chant. Although I guess it’s better than ‘continue building and repairing that previously approved fencing.’ “
You can watch all of the “A Closer Look” segment from Tuesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers” in the video embedded at the top of this post. Because what’s here is just the tip of the strange iceberg.