The big topic among late night TV hosts Thursday night was, without a doubt, Donald Trump’s whole “person, woman, man, camera, TV” thing, because his most recent Fox News interview aired Wednesday after the late night shows recorded their episodes. And on Thursday’s “Late Night With Seth Meyers,” Meyers devoted most of a new “A Closer Look” segment to mocking it.
“There are lots of things you’d like for the president of the United States to be obsessed with in a moment like this,” Meyers said to kick off the segment. “It’d be great, for example, if the president was obsessed with suppressing the coronavirus, and setting up a rigorous system of testing, tracing and isolation. Or if the president was obsessed with ending systemic racism and police brutality. Or ending poverty. Or ensuring that the tens of millions of out-of-work Americans and many more who face eviction or loss of health insurance had the help they need to survive.
“Instead, we have a president who’s obsessed with proving to everyone that his brain works. Last night during an interview on Fox News, he yet again brought up the cognitive test he took that he’s supposedly aced. You know, the one they give you to see if you have dementia.”
And then “Late Night” pulled up the clip. The clip. You probably already know about this if you found your way here, but in case you don’t, here’s what Trump said in the clip in question.
“So the last time I was at the hospital, probably a year ago, a little less than a year ago, I asked the doctor, I said, is there some kind of a cognitive test that I could take because I’ve been hearing about it. Because I want to shut these people up,” Trump said, referring to people question his mental and emotional fitness to be president.
“I said to the doctor, it was Dr Ronny Jackson, I said, is there some kind of a test, an acuity test, and he said there actually is. And he named it, whatever it might be, and it was thirty or thirty five questions, The first questions are very easy, the last questions are much more difficult. Like a memory question, it’s like you’ll go, ‘person, woman, man, camera, TV.’ So they say, could you repeat that? So I said yeah, so it’s ‘person, woman, man, camera, TV.'”
That wasn’t the last time Trump said “person, woman, man, camera, TV” during the interview, in case you were wondering.
In any case, Meyers gleefully made fun of Trump’s strange enthusiasm for the test.
“Oh my god, he can name five objects in his field of vision! How does he do it? Send this man his MacArthur Genius Grant. Get Mensa on the phone, they’re gonna want to see this. It’s like if the minds of Einstein, Hawking, Kasparov and Jobs were all rolled into one and then stuffed inside the body of an alcoholic walrus,” Meyers joked.
“Seriously, dude, it’s not a test to see how smart you are. It’s a test to see if you’re okay. When the referee asks a boxer what city he’s in, it’s not a geography test. This is a test they give Grandpas to see if they can keep living in their house.”
Later, Meyers honed in on a specific part of Trump’s quote above. This part: “I said, is there some kind of a test, an acuity test, and he said there actually is. And he named it, whatever it might be…”
“Honestly, it’s not that crazy to forget the name of the test. Unless it’s a memory test and you were planning to go on TV and brag about acing it,” Meyers said. “He’s like a 8th grader who tells his buddy he has a girlfriend and when they ask what her name is he says, ‘I forgot.’ You gotta be ready for follow-up questions, dog. Don’t go out of your way to bring up a test you claim proves your mental acuity, if you can’t even remember the name of it.”
It’s not all fun and games, of course. Later in the segment Meyers reminded us that Trump is still a destructive force regardless of the nonsense he says about his cognitive test.
“Anyone should be able to see how f—ed up this is, whether you can identify an elephant on a piece of paper or not. The president is a wannabe dictator using paramilitary forces as his own personal secret police. Meanwhile, he couldn’t care less about the tens of millions of American suffering from an out-of-control pandemic he’s ignored for months.”
You can watch the entire “A Closer Look” segment from Thursday’s episode of “Late Night With Seth Meyers” in the video embedded up at the top of this article, or right here on YouTube.