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‘SNL': Bill Hader Brings Stefon Back to Weekend Update (Video)

Stefon delivered the scoop on all the weird places to get drunk in New York to close out St. Patrick’s Day

Former “SNL” cast member Bill Hader returned to host the show this week and to Weekend Update as his enormously popular recurring character Stefon.

Stefon showed up on Weekend Update to talk about New York party spots where tourists could spend the last few hours of St. Patrick’s Day. And he delivered, running down a bunch of weird-sounding places. And all of them had one thing in common: Roman J. Israel, esquire — though it’s not clear if this running joke is referring to the movie itself or the character played by Denzel Washington.

“If you’re drunk in midtown doing cheap coke off your laundry cart, I have just the place for you. New York’s hottest club is Gaddush. Inspired by true events. This former CVS which became a Chase Bank and then became a CVS again, has a familiar yet troubling feel. Like when Larry King would play himself in a movie,” Stefon said. “This place has everything. Death sets, key fobs, kale chips. Roman J. Israel, esquire. Plus you can play everyone’s favorite party game, The Stranger.”

“What’s The Stranger?” Weekend Update co-host Michael Che asked.

“Do you know that Billy Joel song ‘The Stranger’?” Stefon asked, to which Che replied in the affirmative. “Well, it’s when you sit on Billy Joel’s hand until it’s numb and then you rub yourself with it.”

“Wait. Wait,” Co-host Colin Jost chimed in. “Why does it have to be numb?”

“So you can pretend it’s Bruce Springsteen’s hand,” Stefon said.

After describing several other places that Roman J. Israel, esquire had visited, Stefon got hung up trying to describe a certain feature of one club. He was worried that he would sound insensitive, so he called in his lawyer, played by John Mulaney, who was an “SNL” writer for six year and created the Stefon character with Hader.

After consulting with Mulaney, Stefon continued.

“Human squatty potties. It’s that thing of when you sit on the toilet and, to have good posture, two little people crouch on the bathroom floor and you put your feet on their heads,” Stefon said, with emphasis on “little people,” which was apparently the term Mulaney helped him out with.

“I’m really glad you made sure to make that not insensitive,” Jost said, laughing.

“On that note, let’s take a closer look at political correctness,” Stefon said.

“Wait? Isn’t ‘A Closer Look’ Seth’s thing?” Che asked, referring to the Seth Meyers’ segment from “Late Night” on NBC.

“Oh, Seth and I are versatile. Some nights I do it and he’s under the desk,” Stefon said to end the segment.

As the camera started to pull away and the crowd applauded Hader’s appearance as Stefon, he delivered one final message: “Jill Stein 2020.”

You can watch Hader’s full return as Stefon in the video embedded at the top of this post.