Aidy Bryant kicked off this week’s “SNL” in character as White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, presenting the briefing on the results of Donald Trump’s physical. Or, more specifically, the discussion of “how not fat the president is.”
Bryant brought out Beck Bennett as physician Dr. Ronnie Jackson, who seemed overly preoccupied with how physically attractive Trump is.
“At the time of examination the president was 71 years and 7 months young. His resting heart rate was a cool 68 bpm. His weight a very svelte 239 pounds. He has a gorgeous 44-inch Coke-bottle waist,” Bennett’s Jackson said. You can watch the full bit above.
“His height is 75 inches with legs that… well they seem to go on forever. Size 12 shoe so you fill in the blanks there. It’s my expert medical opinion that the president’s got a rocking bod with a perfect amount of cushion for the pushin’. And if given the chance I would.”
When members of the press called into question Dr. Jackson’s comments, he doubled down.
“Again, let me be clear, the president is in peak physical condition. Now he does take Crestor for his cholesterol, which is normal. He takes Propecia, as an inside joke. He takes aspirin for his heart and he has been pounding pineapple juice to keep everything sweet. Okay? I’m telling you, this hunk is healthy enough to be president for at least another 10 to 20 years easy. next question.”
When questioned by “SNL” regular cast member Pete Davidson, playing a reporter named “Pete Davidson from SNL,” about the whole thing about Trump allegedly having an affair with porn star Stormy Daniels.
“I can’t confirm whether the president and Ms. Daniels had relations or not,” Jackson said, “but I can tell you that if they did she is a lucky woman, all right? At his request we also gave the president a sex exam and he blew the doors off of that sucker. He nailed every position perfectly. as a medical staff, we try to stay impartial, but when he was done there wasn’t a dry eye in the room, it was truly beautiful.”