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‘SNL': Jon Lovitz as Alan Dershowitz Joins Adam Driver’s Jeffrey Epstein on Satan’s Podcast

Mr. Peanut and Mark Zuckerberg also show up in hell

On the first new episode of “SNL of 2020, the cold open laid into Republicans  for how the party is handling Donald Trump’s impeachment trial in the Senate, with help from special guest and “SNL” alum Jon Lovitz as Trump attorney Alan Dershowitz.

The sketch began with Beck Bennett and Cecily Strong as GOP Sens. Mitch McConnell and Susan Collins, discussing in transparently bad faith how they intend to handle the defense portion of Trump’s trial next week. Strong’s Collins pretended she was offended by Rep. Adam Schiff’s closing statements for the Democratic prosecution on Friday, while McConnell gloated that they would give Trump a “fair trial. No witnesses, no evidence. That way we can focus on the real crimes — teenagers on marijuana.”

That’s when they summoned Lovitz’s Alan Dershowitz, who had a serious problem favorably comparing his other clients, Jeffrey Epstein, Claus von Bülow and O.J. Simpson, to Trump. Then all of a sudden, the scene changed and Dershowitz found himself in hell and facing Satan, played by Kate McKinnon.

Satan assured Lovitz’s “Dersh” that he wasn’t dead or going to hell, telling him, “Honestly, I just wanted to meet you.”

“You’re the GOAT,” Satan told him. “I should know, that’s what my legs are made of.”

Then Satan invited Dershowitz on her podcast, which she claims to have invented. Satan then brought out several podcast guests from among those sentenced to an eternity in hell, including Adam Driver as Jeffrey Epstein, John Mulaney as Mr. Peanut, who is damned because of all the children who died from peanut allergies, and Bowen Yang as the guy who wrote “Baby Shark.”

Satan said she was a huge fan of Dershowitz, especially his client roster. Asking him if there’s anyone he wouldn’t represent, Lovitz’s Dershowitz told Satan, “As long as the client is famous enough to get on TV, it’s all good.” Satan said she agreed, which is why the only people she now allows into hell are “all influencers.”

“Dersh” told Satan, “I always suspected you’re a woman,” and Satan explained that she appears different for everyone in hell. Epstein confirmed it, telling Dershowitz that to him “the devil is a woman my own age.”

At that point, the sketch resumed laying into congressional Republicans, as Bennett’s McConnell showed up in hell for a spa day. And at the end came the sudden appearance of Alex Moffat as Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who assured everyone present, “I don’t endorse evil, I just help millions of people share it.”