During the cold open on Saturday’s “SNL,” Kate McKinnon’s Sen. Elizabeth Warren held a town hall meeting in Iowa to explain her health care plan to a room full of skeptics, and she took time to dunk on some of her opponents for good measure.
Joking at the top of the gag that “I’m in my natural habitat — a public school on a weekend,” McKinnon’s Warren began by telling everyone to “pour one out” for Beto O’Rourke, who announced Friday he is dropping out of the presidential primary. “Thanks,” Warren said, “for sticking around long enough to call me ‘punitive.’ That was so badass. Let me know how my dust tastes.”
Then she mentioned the news that Donald Trump has changed his primary residency to Florida, telling him “don’t stand too close to an orange tree because someone might try to pick your head.”
Then came time to talk about her health care plan — since on Friday, the real-life Warren explained how she’ll finance the plan with a wealth tax on America’s ultra rich. Asked why it took so long, McKinnon’s Warren called out a double standard in how she’s covered by political media versus her male opponents: “When Bernie was talking Medicare for All, they were, like, ‘Oh cool,’ but then they turned to me and were, like, ‘Fix it, Mom!’” she said.
“Daddy takes you to see ‘Boogie Nights’ when you’re 10,” McKinnon’s Warren continued. “I provide the long tender follow-ups about sex, and whether Mark Wahlberg’s penis is a realistic length.”
Asked how her plan compares to Joe Biden’s proposals, McKinnon’s Warren dunked hard on the former vice president. “My plan compares favorably in that it exists,” she said. “Nobody asks Biden how to pay for stuff because his plans are so vague,” she continued. “Nobody asks how we’re gonna pay for ‘remember Obama.’”
McKinnon’s Warren then touched on one of the most talked-about aspect of how the plan will be funded — making billionaires like Amazon’s Jeff Bezos pay higher taxes. (He’d still be the richest man alive, btw.) “Jeff Bezos is gonna go from paying no tax to paying a tax.” She also said that the U.S. government is a lot like Amazon Prime. “You reap the benefits, you gotta pay an annual fee, and that’s called taxes.”
When breaking down the plan further, McKinnon’s Warren turned into a fun parody of an internet conspiracy theorist. Asked if it might cost more than the trillions she claims it will, she responded, “When the numbers are this big, they’re just pretend. There ain’t no Scrooge McDuck vault.”
Then she added: “You ready to get red-pilled? Money doesn’t exist.”
The sketch ended with Warren explaining to a skeptical woman how the woman’s current health plan is a lot like a bad boyfriend. You can watch the full sketch in the embedded video up at the top of this article.
— Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) November 3, 2019