On the latest episode of “SNL,” Michael Che and Colin Jost spent a lot of time really laying into Donald Trump’s reckless and unsettling recent behavior related to his COVID-19 diagnosis. And Che noted that though Trump may indeed recover fully, there still might be a chance that he actually dies.
Kicking the latest “Weekend Update” off, Jost began with: “This week was mental illness awareness week, and trust me, we’re aware. President and active bioweapon Donald Trump took his doctors hostage and broke out of the hospital like Sarah Connor in ‘Terminator 2.’ And I guess he must have been in a coma and thought the year was 2016 because he started demanding Hillary’s emails and for the feds to arrest Obama.”
Jost then moved on to the series of bizarre videos Trump rolled out all week in lieu of actual public appearances, including the one where he begins by saying “Perhaps you recognize me, it’s your favorite President.”
“Actually I barely recognize you because your makeup artist seems to have given you the Dolezal,” Jost joked. “And also why does it look like there’s a green screen behind you? It’s a little suspicious when you green screen yourself into the place where you already are. It looks like you’re shooting a commercial for a Staten Island wedding venue. ‘Make all your romantic dreams come true at the White House! Wanna do a big-ass wedding with no masks? The White House.'”
Jost was referring to widespread speculation that the video in question wasn’t actually filmed on the White House lawn.
That’s when Che came in. “President Trump claimed to have survived the coronavirus. Yay. I’m not gonna say I’m disappointed, but it kind of feels like when there’s a car crash and the only survivor is the drunk driver,” he began.
“Trump said him getting COVID was quote, ‘a blessing from God.’ And I bet even God was like, ‘Hey, we tried, guys.’ Actually, maybe we should be more optimistic about this,” he continued. “I mean, there’s two ways we can look at it. Either Trump’s telling the truth and we finally have a cure for COVID, or Trump is lying and he’s still gonna die.”
“I’m not gonna say that’s a win-win but it’s definitely not a lose-lose. No?”
Then Jost added that he thinks it’s “amazing to watch a guy have a near-death experience and learn nothing from it. It’s like watching someone’s smoke through the hole in their neck. Trump is now trying to convince Americans that COVID actually makes you stronger and that it made him feel better than he did 20 years ago. So he went from COVID as a hoax to ‘COVID will disappear one day like a miracle’ and now he’s like, ‘actually COVID is the miracle. And it was inside of us all along.'”
“But hey,” Jost continued, “if getting COVID is good, then his supporters are in luck because this was him at a rally last week when he had corona” — he played video of Trump throwing hats into a crowd of people — “Come on, look at him, he’s like an evil Oprah. ‘You’re getting COVID, you’re getting COVID, you’re getting COVID. And look under your seats, it’s a ventilator!'”
Che then noted how Trump has been widely touting a drug produced by Regeneron as a cure, “which seems unlikely, unfounded, irresponsible and I can’t wait to buy a thousand shares of Regeneron baby juice stock.”
Che was referring to the most hypocritical thing about Trump’s treatment, that the drug in question is produced using stem cells. “I call it baby juice. It’s kind of funny that these old Republicans are so anti-abortion when it comes to everybody else, but then they do a complete 180 as soon as stem cells can save their lives or when I get their daughter pregnant,” he said.
The whole gag was of course something of a continuation from last week’s season premiere, when Che argued that — considering Trump spent months downplaying the pandemic’s seriousness, mocking safety measures, and repeatedly hosting events that have either killed supporters or infected dozens of his associates — it’s actually funny that he caught the illness.