We couldn’t have Weekend Update on “SNL” this week without the show dealing with one of the bigger stories in Hollywood: Mark Wahlberg earning $1.5 million for “All the Money in the World” reshoots in which Kevin Spacey was replaced by Christopher Plummer, while the film’s leading actress, Michelle Williams, received only a small per diem.
To talk about it, regular “SNL” cast member Aidy Bryant joined Weekend Update co-host Colin Jost to deliver a very polite yet also very scathing commentary.
“I, like most girls, have been taught to be accommodating and be polite,” Bryant said. “Like once, I felt bad about telling an Uber driver that he took a wrong turn, and so I just went with him to New Jersey.”
She continued, “I just understand the impulse to be accommodating, you know? I easily could have been in Michelle Williams’ position. I mean, not in the position of being in a movie — I’ve only been in one movie and it was ‘Spider-Man 2’ and I had one line and it was uncredited. Although I was recently offered the role of ‘fat, ugly prison wife who brings inmates sex and cake. And that’s real. ”
Bryant went on to take aim at Wahlberg specifically.
“It would be so cool if it didn’t take a week-long public shaming to do the right thing. Maybe do a daily private shaming, which is what I have done my entire damn life,” Bryant said. “To quote Cade Yeager, Mark Wahlberg’s character from ‘Transformers,’ ‘I think we just found a Transformer.’ I’m sorry, that’s the wrong quote. It was, ‘You gotta have faith, Prime, in who we can be.’ See, Colin, we can all be Transformers!”