Things are — stop me if you’ve heard this one before — not going all that great for Donald Trump at the moment, but don’t think that Weekend Update hosts Micheal Che and Colin Jost are gonna start taking it easy on him now. As Che said to open the “SNL” news segment: “Well, Donald Trump had a really really tough week, but you know what? I’m still going to make fun of him.”
And they did just that. By the way, you can watch Laura Ingraham’s appearance (played by Kate McKinnon) on Weekend Update right here. And you can watch the rest of Weekend Update from this week’s “SNL” in the videos embedded at the bottom of the post.
“In his memoir ‘A Higher Loyalty,’ James Comey calls President Trump ‘ego driven’ and said that he is ‘untethered to truth.’ The book was co-authored by Captain Obvious. President Trump responded to the claims in Comey’s memoir calling him ‘a leaker and a liar,’ which coincidentally is also the name of the video the Russians have,” Jost said, referencing the much-discussed “pee tape.”
Che then took the pee tape discussion in a new direction, seriously examining Trump’s denials and then expressing a very small amount of sympathy.
“According to James Comey’s new memoir, President Trump denied allegations in the Russian dossier saying, ‘I’m a germophobe, there’s no way I would let people pee on each other around me.’ First of all, you can’t call yourself a germophobe when you’re out raw dogging porn stars. Also, paying hookers to pee on each other while you hang back and watch is exactly something a germophobe would do,” Che said. “Sidebar, am I the only one who thinks the president being into pee pee is, I don’t know, kind of charming? Yeah? I mean, it’s humanizing. Like remember when we saw that video of Obama playing basketball? We were like, ‘Wow, he’s just like us!’ That’s the same thing, but like times two.”
Earlier in Weekend Update, Che had a pretty solid zinger for Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen.
“The FBI raided the home, office and hotel room of President Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen this week. Authorities first became suspicious of Cohen when they found out he was the lawyer for Donald Trump,” Che joked. “This does not look good for Trump. If being black has taught me anything, it’s that when the feds come kicking in your door, they got something. FBI raids are like when your girl goes through your phone. She’s only doing it to confirm whatever she already knows.”
Jost then had some words about the idea that everything going on with Trump these days is “historic.”
“The Michael Cohen raid is being called historic. It’s amazing how we keep hearing ‘historic’ in reference to things that are happening during Trump’s administration, and none of them are positive. ‘Historic’ has become a polite way of saying ‘unbelievably terrible,'” Jost said. “Like ‘Wow, the Cleveland Browns are having another historic season. Or you walk out of the bathroom and say, ‘You better give it a minute, I just did something historic.'”
And, yes, they also dealt with the Syria situation too.
“President Trump ordered an air strike on Syria Friday night so I guess we’re at war now too, yay!” Che said. “These Trump stories are so random and insane, I feel like a contestant on ‘Chopped.’ What the hell am I supposed to do with all these ingredients? I mean, I knew he was going to try to create a distraction, but I thought it would be something small like tweeting the n-word at Tristan Thompson. I didn’t know he was going to put us in a full war. Plus isn’t he going to jail soon? He shouldn’t be signing us up for stuff, he should be kissing us on the forehead and telling us to take care of mommy.”
You can watch all of Weekend Update from this week’s “SNL” in the videos embedded below, which include visits from Laura Ingraham and Lavar Ball.