Stephen Colbert Dubs Kevin McCarthy’s House Speaker Drama ‘Ass Onion: A Kev’s Out Mystery’ (Video)

“There’s more important things in life than winning or losing. There’s making fun of Kevin McCarthy for losing,” Colbert jokes

The House of Representatives on Tuesday had a historically chaotic day after the Republican Party proved unable to elect a new House speaker on the first, second or even third try. But on Tuesday’s “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert found the whole thing so delightful that he called it “Ass Onion: A Kev’s Out Mystery” – of course, nodding to Rian Johnson’s current “Knives Out” hit, “Glass Onion.”

See, the Republican Party ostensibly took over the House on Tuesday after winning one of the slimmest-ever majorities in November. But business ground to a halt after California Republican Kevin McCarthy lost three separate votes in his bid to become House speaker due to opposition from several of the party’s most extremist members.

In fact, the House adjourned for the day without ever resolving the matter and will try again a 12:00 p.m. Eastern time on Wednesday. McCarthy actually lost supporters between the first count and the third, a possible indication that he won’t ultimately get the job.

And so it is that Colbert opened his monologue roasting the whole thing Tuesday night.

He began by noting he made two New Year’s resolutions: “One of them was to drink less, and the other was to not gloat when bad things happened to Kevin McCarthy,” he said as he sipped what looked like a glass of whiskey.

Colbert then broke down the whole drama for the audience at home and in the studio, noting in particular that McCarthy has long been open about his ambition to become House speaker. “But remember, there’s more important things in life than winning or losing,” Colbert said with mock humility. “There’s making fun of Kevin McCarthy for losing.”

Colbert mocked McCarthy’s attempt to appear jovial after each loss, joking that his smile made him look like “he really enjoys watching Kevin McCarthy get humiliated,” adding, “maybe he does get the American people.”

Colbert also mocked how McCarthy messed up while making an incorrect reference to “game of chicken,” quipping, “boy, this guy’s chicken metaphor turned out to be a real canary in a China shop.”

“Now, what makes Kevin’s anguish particularly delicious is that it’s no secret that he has dreamed of being Speaker of the House for years,” Colbert continued, adding that McCarthy already requires his interns to address him as “Mr. Speaker” and that he’s already moved his things into the Speaker’s office.

“He may not be good at counting votes, but he’s great at counting chickens before they hatch,” Colbert said.

Watch the whole “Late Show” monologue in the video.