Stephen Colbert was on a break when news broke that CNN was planning to pull back on the use of its “Breaking News” banner, a change directed by his former executive producer Chris Licht, who now helms the news network.
“I’ve been off for a week. I’ve missed you. I also missed a lot of news, which I did not miss. But there’s some new news about the news because CNN is cutting back on overhyping everything as ‘Breaking News,’ which means overhyping everything is now up for grabs. So we have ‘Breaking News.’”
Colbert then ushered in the use of CNN’s “Breaking News” graphic and alert music before sharing his own “Breaking News” report.
“Gentlemen, I stand before you shocked and terrified to report that what I’m saying right now means nothing,” Colbert said, mocking the network’s robust use of the graphic to date. “It is a false sense of urgency to keep you captivated long enough to get to the next Lipitor commercial and, hold on, is this – I have to break into this ‘Breaking News’ with a ‘Breaking News’ alert.
“At 11:38 ET, host of ‘The Late Show,’ Stephen Colbert, is feeling a bit snacky. Now, the story is still developing. No word yet on how and if it will ever resolve. Stephen, tell me my friend, what are you hearing?” Colbert asked, cutting away to (as he often does) himself, with a new news report.
As he turned to a different “Late Show” camera, Colbert gave a report that was impossible to understand because he was eating snacks. (You can watch his “Breaking News” report at the start of his monologue, above.)
But he didn’t stop there. Colbert had a few more jokes about the cable news network in his monologue bag of tricks on Monday.
“But you may have noticed we used some of CNN’s graphics there. We found them in a dumpster behind the network next to Chris Cuomo and CNN+,” Colbert said.
“Why are you ‘awwing’?” Colbert continued, addressing his audience. “None of you watched it.”