As the government shutdown enters Week 2, Jon Stewart is fed up with both political parties, but at least one of them seems to be fighting for the American people — even if they are lousy at said fight.
“As you’ll recall, the shutdown began because in order to pass a budget bill in the Senate, you need 60 votes,” Stewart explained atop Monday’s “The Daily Show.” “So, Democrats have come forth with a laundry list of demands to force the Republicans… just kidding. They want, like, two things.”
At that, news clips played that positioned the Democrats’ fight for Medicaid and Obamacare subsidies opposite Republicans turning those talking points into matters of free health care for “illegal aliens” and even transgender surgeries.
“People in the country are not eligible for Medicaid or Obamacare subsidies,” Stewart pointed out. “But the Democrats aren’t lily-livered about this. They’ve got their own rhetorical arguments about the popularity about extending these subsidies that I think you’ll find compelling.”
That set-up then prompted the comedian to call Chuck Schumer a “human flat tire” over a failed C-SPAN joke, while further suggesting House Speaker Mike Johnson has “a little struggling with the conscience and the truth” after saying Republicans are the ones who care about health care.
“So the trap is, if the Democrats shut down the government, Donald Trump takes advantage of the situation and begins to, I don’t know, trim programs Democrats care about. Or maybe Donald Trump might let go of some federal workers. Or Donald Trump might eliminate funding, but only for blue states. Or Donald Trump might f–king send in the National Guard, but only into blue areas,” Stewart rattled off. “In other words, to continue doing all this s–t, Trump has not needed any provocation or pretense or reason to already have been doing, lo these past, God, it feels like f–king 80 years. And yet somehow, the Republicans have the balls to continue to insist that the secondhand urine on our legs is rain.”
A montage then played that featured conservative pundits insisting Trump takes no pleasure in having to potentially furlough government workers or outright lay people off.
“The president takes no pleasure in this? The president takes only pleasure. Given the president’s vascular condition, this might be the only thing keeping him hard,” Stewart responded. “His catchphrase was literally ‘You’re fired.’ His only reason for getting up in the morning is vengeance.”
“Look man, 75 million Americans voted for a Democrat in this last round of presidential elections, and at this moment, they have zero power at the federal level– not in the House, not in the Senate, not in the executive, and not in the courts. There has not been a moment of conciliation or concern about the issues and policies that drove those 75 million votes, not a moment,” the comedian continued in earnest. “At present, the Democrats’ largest victory over these past eight months is getting a guy who may or may not be a criminal back from El Salvador so Trump could send him to Uganda. That was the big win. And then suddenly a small ask for people’s preservation of health care is a Molotov cocktail. Because, apparently, Republicans won’t be satisfied with 99.8% domination. They must have it all.”
He further noted, “ICE went from deporting the worst of the worst to throwing grandmothers onto linoleum and zip-tying American children, and everyone’s just supposed to be cool with the new, masked, incredibly well-funded paramilitary group, and Democrats are just reduced to petty gestures of restroom resistance.”
“Look, I’ve given Democrats an enormous amount of s–t for their poor leadership, lack of specific and actionable plans, terrible messaging, abysmal wordplay — did I mention poor leadership? But standing up for 75 million Americans in this moment to defend the rights of people to go into a little less medical debt seems like the least they can f–king do,” Stewart concluded. “And perhaps, maybe, that will remind the Republicans that their mandate wasn’t 100%. They’ve just caught a constitutional, administrative and logistics break.”
