"Twin Peaks" is a bizarre, often seemingly nonsensical show, but it's a David Lynch thing, which means weird and crazy things that show up on screen mean something -- the onus is just on us to figure it out. So, in that vein, we thought the best way to celebrate Showtime's 18-hour revival would be to rank a bunch of the show's characters -- but in a weird, confusing way instead of the normal "worst to best" way. We may just be amateur David Lynches, but we think it'll be a damn fine time nonetheless.
