Kate McKinnon kicked off “SNL” after a two-week hiatus, playing a version of Attorney General Jeff Sessions that channeled “Forrest Gump.”
McKinnon’s Sessions found himself waiting for a bus with a box of chocolate, talking to the Alabama natives who happened to share it with him. Of course, the subject of conversation ranged from Sessions’ new appointment as attorney general to discussing how he talked to the Russians, but maybe just doesn’t totally remember it. You can watch the full bit above.
“I am the attorney general of the whole United States,” Sessions told one of the folks who happened to sit down. “I got to meet the president and everything.”
“He shook my hand like this,” Sessions said, demonstrating Trump’s infamous yanking handshake. “Being in the government is so fun.”
Sessions started by talking about his “best good friend,” Kellyanne Conway. She’s the best talker you’ve ever seen, Session explained — she could sell stink to a skunk, he says. “But they don’t let her talk anymore.”
Sessions discussed the bad week he was having following news breaking that suggested Sessions may have perjured himself during his Senate confirmation hearing.
“This whole mess began with a Congressional hearing,” Sessions said. “This senator from up north started asking me all these questions about Russia, if I ever talked to them. I got so nervous and confused I got about as worked up as a double-donged piggy in a room full of sows. So, I said no, I never talked to no Russians ever. That’s all I got to say about that. I did talk to the Russians. Twice. You know, I met with a fellow who turned out to be Russian on the account of he was the Russian ambassador. His name was Sergey Kislyak. I remember any name with ‘gay kiss’ in it.”
At the end of the sketch, host Octavia Spencer shared the bench with Sessions. She reprised her role as Minny Jackson from “The Help.” After asking Sessions if he was same person from Coretta Scott King’s famous 1986 letter. In that letter, King opposed Sessions’ nomination as a federal judge. When Sessions confirmed he was that guy, she offered him the infamous pie from the movie — which had a particularly gross special ingredient (hint: it’s poop).