The internet fell in love this week with the “Apparently Kid,” whose adorable interview at a county fair has been viewed 8 million times in only three days. Stephen Colbert, for one, thinks the young man has a very bright future in broadcast news.
“As a professional newsman I’m always looking for innovations in journalism,” he said on Wednesday’s “Colbert Report.”
“From the futuristic news desk of Shep Smith to the 3D environments of Wolf Blitzer, to whatever aluminum alloy Anderson Cooper is sculpted from. Today I saw a troubling glimpse of broadcasting future and like most troubling things I saw it at a county fair.”
The Comedy Central host showed the clip of young Noah Ritter, as he’s properly known, and the audience giggled with delight.
“Oh my God. This kid is a natural born newsman!” said Colbert. “He’s already breaking the story of how the super-slide is half-death-scaring our children.”
“At five years old, he’s already got the sincerity of Edward R. Murrow, the reassuring gaze of Walter Cronkite, and more gravitas than Steve Doocy,” he continued. “He’s already established the word ‘apparently’ at his catch phrases.”
“That is the sort of senseless repetition that marks a real news legend like Sean Hannity.”
Colbert showed a series of clips of the Fox News anchor broadcasting live from Gaza this week. Hannity awkwardly shoehorns the word “literally” into (figuratively) every single sentence.
“Apparently that five-year-old child can replace Sean Hannity.” Colbert added. “Literally.”