Stunt casting is an abomination, except when an entire show is built around it, as is the case with “Dancing with the Stars.” With last season’s carefully crafted cast still fresh in our minds, we’ve dreamed up a fantastical but not-impossible list of stars we’d like to see doing, you know, whatever dances they want to do. Honestly, we’re mostly about the electoral intrigue and fun costumes. The real cast announcement will come next year. For now, here are the dancers who would fill our dream cast:
Bill Clinton
Why not aim high? It's a dream list. This might be beneath him, sure, but a former house majority leader has already done the show. Plus Barack Obama has already become the first commander-in-chief to break the presidents-can’t-dance-on-TV barrier. And really: Is it any weirder than the "Hangover 2"?
Pros: He’d be so great at this.
Cons: His time is better spent helping people recover from earthquakes, fighting AIDS and taking over the White House press room.
Danica McKellar
The “Wonder Years” star who sets search engines ablaze with every move (married! pregnant! delivered!) is the girl-next-store for a whole generation of dudes who, because of apartment layouts, exurban migrations, or growing up on the tundra, didn’t have a girl next door. Plus, audiences love new moms, and she can pretend her appearance has something to do with teaching girls math. And she could fill the former-star-of-an-ABC-show role previously filled by half the contestants on the show.
Pros: We’ve outdone ourselves; this is a scarily good idea.
Cons: The show could maybe slightly undercut her position as a math-teaching role-model figure-person.
Also read: Will Bristol Palin Change "Dancing" Rules? Nope
W. Axl Rose
He’s only slightly less likely to do this than Bill Clinton. Also, casting a semi-recluse with a famously terrible temper and reputation for going on stage around whenever would add serious new drama: Will Axl even show up for the finale episode? (Yes, in our dream, he makes it to the finale episode.)
Pros: The snake dance.
Cons: He would never do it.
Dolly Parton
If America were perfect, she would be its queen and Willie Nelson its king.
Pros: Great sense of rhythm and stagecraft, and – do we really have to make a case here?
Cons: None. Do this.
Allen Iverson
The 11-time NBA All Star would bring big personality and coordination to the floor, if only he could somehow be lured back from playing professional basketball in Turkey.
Pros: Given his past erratic behavior and “Wow, that’s disappointing”-style rap lyrics, his appearance could be presented as some kind of redemption. He also fills the athlete/rapper slot previously filled by Master P.
