Watch Ted Cruz Call Donald Trump a Rat He Doesn’t Want to Have Sex With (Video)

Also, happy Good Friday, everyone

It has come to this: Ted Cruz says Donald Trump is a rat, and not only a rat, but a rat with whom Ted Cruz does not wish to have sex.

Cruz said it in response to a National Enquirer story that accuses Cruz of having five extramarital affairs — a story Cruz blamed on “Donald Trump and his henchmen.”

During a Wisconsin news conference Friday, Cruz blasted Roger Stone, a former Trump ally whom he blamed for the story, though Trump and Stone publicly parted ways in August.

“He’s a man for whom a term was coined for copulating with a rodent,” Cruz said. “Well let me be clear, Mr. Trump may be a rat but I have no desire to copulate with him. And this garbage does not belong in politics.”

What, you may ask, is going on here? Let us do our best to explain.

Cruz is struggling not to use the word “fuck” while calling Trump and Stone “ratfuckers.”

The term for a sleazy political operative is popular enough that the following Wikipedia definition appears when you Google it:


It’s unlikely that the term was created with Stone in mind, but it is true that Stone worked for the Committee to Re-Elect the President, a pro-President Nixon group that, “All the President’s Men” told us, was accused of sabotage and dirty tricks.

With his remarks Friday, Cruz doubled down on the insult by saying Trump is not only a rat, but a rat well below Cruz’s own sexual standards. (The talk about rats starts around the two-minute mark in the video above.)

Suffice it to say, it’s been an ugly week for Trump and Cruz.

After Trump accused Cruz of bringing his wife, Melania, into the campaign, he threatened to “spill the beans” about Cruz’s wife Heidi, without speculating what he meant by “the beans.” Cruz suggested Friday that Trump was referring to the Enquirer story.

Cruz denied the Enquirer report as “garbage.”