‘Bill & Ted Face the Music’ Film Review: Our Heroes Battle an Excellent Midlife Crisis
Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves return in a long-awaited third ”Bill & Ted“ movie that would rather be charming than frantic, and ups the stakes without feeling the need to get louder or more aggressive
For a movie in which the world could end at any moment, “Bill & Ted Face the Music” is awfully sweet and cheery.
And for that, we have to thank Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted “Theodore” Logan, who 30 years ago were the sweetest and cheeriest of teen heroes and are now hanging onto that into middle age. They’re not the smartest of heroes, of course, but they know what works for them: As Ted says at one point in this movie, “Maybe we should always not know what we’re doing!”
But “Bill & Ted Face the Music” does know what it’s doing, which is to preserve the essence of the characters played by Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves even as it dumps a most unpleasant midlife crisis and an even more heinous threat to reality as we know on their still-shaggy heads.
Written by original “Bill & Ted” creators Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon and directed by Dean Parisot (“Galaxy Quest”), it’s a movie that would rather be charming than frantic, and one that ups the stakes without feeling the need to get louder or more aggressive.
And that means it fits nicely into the sweet, goofball “Bill & Ted” universe, which began with 1989’s “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure” and included the 1991 sequel “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey.” When it came out, that first film was not well liked by critics, many of whom couldn’t figure out what to make of teen heroes who were not stoners or malcontents. Instead, Bill and Ted were good-hearted, earnest kids who didn’t really have the brains to pull off the air of erudition they thought they were adopting, but were pretty sunny and likable anyway.
In the initial movie, which slowly became a sleeper hit, Bill and Ted were sent traveling through time to collect historical figures so that they could do a bodacious history report and Ted wouldn’t flunk out and be sent to military school, which would have ended their beloved-if-inept metal band, Wyld Stallyns. They got their phone-booth time machine from an emissary from the future, Rufus (George Carlin), who was sent to help them because the future depended on Wyld Stallyns becoming huge stars and writing a song that would bring everyone together.
“Face the Music” picks up the story 25 years later, with our heroes still trying to write THAT song even thought their career has pretty much tanked. They’re married to the medieval princesses they found in the first movie (now played by Jayma Mays and Erinn Hayes), and they now have daughters, Billie and Thea (Bridgette Lundy-Paine and Samara Weaving), who are essentially smaller, smarter Bill and Ted knockoffs.
(One quibble: In the first two movies, the princesses were played by actresses who were roughly the same age as Winter and Reeves – so why, in this one, do we have actresses who are more than 10 years younger?)
At any rate, the pressure to write a song to unite the world has gotten heavy over the decades. “We have been banging our heads against the wall for 25 years,” says Ted. “And I’m tired, dude.”
“Ted, we have a destiny to fulfill,” Bill insists. “Think about our fans, dude!”
“Bob and Wendy will totally understand,” Ted says. “Eileen, we haven’t heard from for several years.”
Of course, a sad and resigned Bill and Ted would be most bogus companions for 91 minutes of screen time, so a time-travel pod arrives on their front yard and out pops Kelly (Kristen Schaal), who happens to be the daughter of Rufus. She whisks them off to the future, where things have gotten a lot fancier since the first movie, and where the Great Leader is Holland Taylor in place of the original’s moonlighting rock stars Clarence Clemons, Martha Davis and Fee Waybill.
Great Leader, who clearly is not terribly thrilled with this whole Bill & Ted future cult, tells the guys that they have exactly 77 minutes and 25 seconds to write and play the song that will bring the world together, “or reality will collapse and time and space as we know it will cease to exist.”
That’s marginally higher stakes than getting back to San Dimas in time to do a history report — so Ted, who often seems like the dumber of the two but actually comes up with a lot of good ideas, decides that since Rufus told them that they did write that song, they should use their time machine to visit their future selves at a time after the song was written, and steal it from themselves.
“Ted, you have had many counterintuitive ideas through the years,” Bill says proudly, “but this is the counterintuitiviest of all!” (If there’s a blooper reel of Winter trying to say counterintuitiveiest, I’d like to see it.)
This leads to Present Day Bill & Ted jumping back and forth through time, trying to find Future Bill & Ted at exactly the right time but instead encountering Crappy Lounge Act Bill & Ted, Pretentious British Bill & Ted and Bulked-Up Prison Bodybuilding Bill & Ted, among others. It seems to make perfect sense to these guys even if it’s a bit confusing to those of us who aren’t quite as smart, and it gives Winter and Reeves the chance to go full Eddie Murphy and play a plethora of excellent roles.
(It also fits with the recent spate of time-travel movies that can make your head hurt if you think about them too much: Christopher Nolan’s “Tenet,” Charlie Kaufman’s “I’m Thinking of Ending Things,” Max Barbakow’s “Palm Springs.” Did all the filmmakers somehow sense that we’d all have an unconscious desire to escape 2020?)
But there’s more going on than just Bill and Ted hunting for themselves; there’s also a killer robot from the future played by “Barry” costar Anthony Carrigan, who fortunately for Bill and Ted and for us is no Terminator. And Billie and Thea also get involved, doing their own time traveling to get their dads a killer band that includes Jimi Hendrix, Louis Armstrong and Mozart. And eventually, the Wyld Stallyns old bass player and nemesis from “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey,” Death (William Sadler), pops up as well.
It’s silly and occasionally a little slow, and it could use the kind of in-person audience that it won’t get in these pandemic days. But if you felt any affection for “Bill & Ted” in the past, you’ll feel it again here, because the movie rides on the same kind of goofy charm as its predecessors. Winter and Reeves, meanwhile, manage to make the years and the mileage show without losing that essential Billishness or Tediosity; maybe they weren’t born to play these guys, but it’s still a lot of fun when they do.
As for the ending … well, you have to figure that the movie has painted itself into a corner, because they’ve gotta play the song but no song can be so bodacious that it instantly unites the world.
But then they actually figure a way out of that corner, and damned if it isn’t most triumphant. Party on, dudes.
All the Hollywood Films Arriving on Demand Early Because of the Coronavirus
Since most U.S. movie theaters have shuttered in response to the coronavirus pandemic, studios are rushing out VOD home releases of movies that were only just in theaters.
Disney/Warner Bros./Universal
"Trolls World Tour"
The sequel to the 2017 animated hit announced it would be available for digital download on April 10 -- the same day it was supposed to land in theaters. Now it's a VOD exclusive.
Universal Pictures
"Birds of Prey"
The Margot Robbie spinoff of 2017's "Suicide Squad" debuted on demand on March 24. The film grossed $84 million since opening on Feb. 4.
Warner Bros.
"The Hunt"
The Universal/Blumhouse horror film was first delayed from release last fall due to controversy over its violent content -- and then sidelined after its March 13 opening by the coronavirus. It's available to stream now.
Universal Pictures
"The Invisible Man"
The Universal horror film starring Elisabeth Moss grossed nearly $65 million since its Feb. 26 release in theaters. It's available to stream now.
Universal Pictures
"Emma."
Focus Features' adaptation of the Jane Austen novel opened in limited release Feb. 21 -- and picked up $10 million in ticket sales until the pandemic shut down theaters. It's available to stream now.
Focus Features
"Bloodshot"
The Vin Diesel comic-book movie opened March 6 and grossed $10 million before theaters shut down. It's available on VOD now.
Sony Pictures
"I Still Believe"
Lionsgate's biopic starring K.J. Apa as Christian music star Jeremy Camp hit VOD on March 27 -- just two weeks after it opened in theaters.
Lionsgate
"The Way Back"
Warner Bros. released the Ben Affleck drama "The Way Back" -- which grossed $13 million in theaters since its March 6 opening -- on VOD less than three weeks later, on March 24.
Warner Bros.
"Onward"
Disney and Pixar’s animated feature was made available for purchase on Friday, March 20, and the film hit Disney+ on April 3.
Disney/Pixar
"Sonic the Hedgehog"
Paramount Pictures' "Sonic the Hedgehog" set a new record for video game adaptations with a $58 million domestic opening weekend on Feb. 14 and has grossed $306 million worldwide theatrically. It's available on demand now.
Paramount Pictures
"The Call of the Wild"
20th Century Studios' feel-good film starring Harrison Ford and a giant CGI dog is available on demand now.
20th Century
"Downhill"
Barely escaping an avalanche during a family ski vacation, a married couple (Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Will Ferrell) is thrown into disarray as they are forced to reevaluate their lives and how they feel about each other. It's available on demand now.
Fox Searchlight
"Never Rarely Sometimes Always"
"Never Rarely Sometimes Always" is the story of two teenage cousins from rural Pennsylvania who journey to New York City to seek an abortion. The film premiered at the Sundance Film Festival and walked away with a Special Jury award. It's available for VOD now.
Focus Features
"Endings, Beginnings"
"Endings, Beginnings," a romantic drama from Drake Doremus starring Shailene Woodley, Sebastian Stan and Jamie Dornan, opened early on digital on April 17 and on demand on May 1. It was meant to open theatrically on May 1.
Samuel Goldwyn Films
"To the Stars"
"To the Stars," a period drama set in 1960s Oklahoma that stars Kara Hayward, Liana Liberato, Jordana Spiro, Shea Whigham, Malin Akerman and Tony Hale, was bumped up to a digital release on April 24 and an on demand release on June 1. Martha Stephens directed the film that premiered at Sundance in 2019 and was meant to be released theatrically by Samuel Goldwyn Films.
Samuel Goldwyn Films
"Impractical Jokers: The Movie"
truTV's first-ever feature-length film arrived early on digital on April 1. Follow James "Murr" Murray, Brian "Q" Quinn, Joe Gatto, and Sal Vulvano, aka The Tenderloins, playing themselves in a fictional story of a humiliating high school mishap from the early '90s.
truTV
"Artemis Fowl"
Disney's adaptation of the Eoin Colfer fantasy novel "Artemis Fowl" was meant to debut in theaters on May 29 but premiered exclusively on Disney+. The film is directed by Kenneth Branagh and stars Colin Farrell and Judi Dench.
Disney
"The Infiltrators"
The theatrical release of Oscilloscope's docu-thriller "The Infiltrators" has been postponed, and the film was released on both Cable On Demand and Digital Platforms starting June 2.
Oscilloscope
"Working Man"
The March 27 theatrical release of "Working Man" has been canceled due to the theater closures, and the film premiered on May 5 via Video On Demand.
Brainstorm Media
"Jump Shot: The Kenny Sailors Story"
"Jump Shot: The Kenny Sailors Story," a sports documentary executive produced by NBA star Steph Curry, was made available for streaming on the new service Altavod between April 16-18 for $7.99 and is available for pre-order beginning April 9. 10% of all the proceeds will be donated to COVID-19 relief efforts. The documentary tells the story of the player, Kenny Sailors, who pioneered the jump shot, and it features interviews with Curry, Kevin Durant, Dirk Nowitzki, Clark Kellogg, Bobby Knight and more.
Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images
"Scoob!"
Warner Bros. announced on April 11 that it would release the family animated film “Scoob!” for digital ownership and premium video on-demand on May 15, making it the second film (after Universal's "Trolls World Tour") to cancel a planned theatrical release and head straight to home release pandemic.
Warner Bros.
"The King of Staten Island"
"The King of Staten Island," the comedy starring and co-written by "SNL" star Pete Davidson and directed by Judd Apatow, skipped its theatrical release date of June 19 and opened one week early on VOD everywhere on June 12.
Universal Pictures
"The High Note"
"The High Note," the latest film from "Late Night" director Nisha Ganatra that stars Tracee Ellis Ross and Dakota Johnson, made its premiere on VOD on May 29. It was meant to open on May 8 theatrically.
Focus Features
"Waiting for the Barbarians"
Ciro Guerra's film starring Mark Rylance, Johnny Depp and Robert Pattinson was originally slated for a theatrical release but was picked up by Samuel Goldwyn Films to instead be released via cable on demand and on digital in August
Samuel Goldwyn Films
"Irresistible"
Jon Stewart's latest film, a political comedy called "Irresistible," will skip theaters and make its premiere online for on demand digital rental on June 26. The film from Focus Features stars Steve Carell and Rose Byrne and was meant to open in theaters on May 29.
Daniel McFadden / Focus Features
"My Spy"
The Dave Bautista action comedy "My Spy" was originally meant for a theatrical release from STXfilms and was due to hit theaters in March. Amazon then acquired the film from STX and will now release it on streaming on June 26.
Amazon Studios
"The One and Only Ivan"
The animated Disney film based on Thea Sharrock's best-selling children's book "The One and Only Ivan" is the latest feature to skip theaters and move to Disney+. The movie features the voice talent of Angelina Jolie, Danny Devito, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston and Helen Mirren. The film was previously slated for theatrical release on August 14 but will now debut on Disney+ one week later on Aug. 21.
Disney
"The Secret Garden"
The re-imagining of the book "The Secret Garden" was meant to open in UK theaters in April but delayed its theatrical release until August. But STXfilms will now release the StudioCanal and Heyday Films movie on PVOD for $19.99 on August 7 in North America. "The Secret Garden" stars Colin Firth, Julie Walters and Dixie Egerickx.
STXfilms
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”Irresistible“ joins a list of big films heading to digital home entertainment platforms early
Since most U.S. movie theaters have shuttered in response to the coronavirus pandemic, studios are rushing out VOD home releases of movies that were only just in theaters.