“Late Show” host Stephen Colbert weighed in on a recent Wall Street Journal poll which found that 52% of respondents would prefer Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis as the GOP presidential candidate in 2024 compared to 38% who would prefer former President Donald Trump.
“Yay? Also maybe boo?,” Colbert joked during Wednesday night’s monologue. “It’s hard to know who to root for here. It’s like a poll between gonorrhea and a slightly more racist gonorrhea. Apologies to gonorrhea.”
Colbert noted that DeSantis is trouncing Trump in early polling due to the fact that he’s pulling in voters who identify themselves as only “somewhat conservative.”
“Basically the folks who don’t support gay marriage but think Andy Cohen does a great job handling those housewives,” Colbert quipped.
In order to take full command of the GOP, Colbert said that all DeSantis needs to do is “reel in the coveted conservative demographic of angry, conspiracy QAnon, all meat diet, and your testicle boys.”
Colbert proceeded to rip DeSantis as a “stupid mother Pfizer” for appeasing conspiracy theorists by calling for a grand jury investigation into COVID-19 vaccines.
In addition to touting all of the lives saved and hospitalizations prevented by COVID-19 vaccines, Colbert cited a Vice report that almost twice as many Republicans died before the midterms due to the disease than Democrats.
“Y’all killed your own voters,” he said. “Its the stupidest political strategy since the wig slogan of 1840: Tippecanoe and taunt a grizzly.”
DeSantis has received approval from the Florida Supreme Court to impanel a grand jury on the matter.
“Of course made up of a gator on a jet ski, a leathery dude who gives bachelorette boat tours and a can of Four Loco with a DUI,” Colbert cracked.
Colbert concluded the segment by playing a montage of DeSantis promoting COVID-19 vaccines.
“If DeSantis is going full conspiracy and attacking anyone who promoted this vaccine. I just hope he cracks down on whoever this guy is,” Colbert said. “That’s evidence right there that it causes genetic side effects because this guy used to promote the vaccine but once he got it he turned into a huge dick bag.”
Watch Colbert’s full monologue in the video above.
