On Monday’s “The Late Show,” host Stephen Colbert joined literally every other late night talk show host in breaking down three subjects: the latest wrinkle in President Joe Biden’s classified documents scandal; George Santos; and the weird-as-hell speech former president Donald Trump gave at the funeral for Diamond of Diamond and Silk.
Diving into Biden’s woes, Colbert noted that there is a crucial difference between the respective scandals of our sitting president and Trump and jokingly wondered if the whole thing is just a scam to trick the FBI into cleaning Biden’s house.
On Friday, the FBI did a search of Biden’s Delaware home with Biden’s full cooperation. They found a few more documents, prompting Colbert to joke, “How could America be $31 trillion in debt and apparently no one in the executive branch has ever purchased a shredder.”
“Apparently, all politicians just hoard classified material,” Colbert added. “I’m starting to wonder how Jimmy Carter insulates all those habitats for humanity.”
Colbert touched on the fact that the documents found on Friday included handwritten notes from Biden’s time in the U.S. Senate, prompting Colbert to point out that Biden first entered the Senate in 1973 and joking that the notes concerned old pop songs.
“Of course Republicans want to say that Biden’s situation is the same as the former president, but there’s one big difference: They’re different,” Colbert continued. “For instance, President Biden agreed to a planned and consensual search, and voluntarily allowed the FBI into his home. So, he’s either cooperating, or his adult children are trying to get someone else to clean out grandpa’s junk.”
Colbert then did a gag imagining what such a thing would look like: “Hello, FBI?” he said, miming holding a phone. “Uh, I’m pretty sure Pop-Pop’s probably got in the attic. Yeah, they’re in there with his old Life magazines, could you come take all of them away?”
The bit ended with a fun segment where Colbert mocked the way major news networks have been talking about the matter in identical terms, before moving on to the other topics.
You can watch the full “Late Show” monologue in the video above.