“The Daily Show” host Michael Kosta slammed Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner Tuesday for their recent purchase of a private island located off the coast of Albania, joking, “There’s got to be an easier way to divorce somebody.”
“For those of you who are thinking, ‘Hey, before buying a private island, shouldn’t billionaires maybe read the room?’ What you don’t understand is, the island doesn’t have rooms yet,” Kosta dryly told Comedy Central viewers. “They can’t lay the foundation for those rooms until they burn down all those stupid trees, okay? And for the record, Jared and Ivanka aren’t scheming real estate moguls going around the world snatching up private islands. This was more of an impulse buy!”
Following a clip of Trump recounting how she and Kushner fell in love with the island in question after swimming to it from a friend’s boat, Kosta joked: “Girl, I feel you. Been there, done that… Except instead of the Mediterranean, I was swimming in the Hudson River, and the island I hiked barefoot was Staten Island, and instead of buying it, I stepped on a needle and got HPV. But I feel you.”
“I just have one follow-up question: Can you make this sound even more out of touch?” Kosta asked, teeing up a clip in which Trump called the island purchase the “culmination” of all of her real estate experience and a “tangible manifestation” of the way “people increasingly are wanting to live.”
“Come on, lady! You’re rich and you bought an island. Just say that!” Kosta said after the clip. “Not everything has to be a deep spiritual journey, you know? It’s like when you look up a chicken salad recipe and you have to scroll through nine pages of how the cook’s grandparents escaped the Balkan Wars in the back of a donkey cart. So did Nana use paprika or mustard? Which one is it?!?”
In response to a report that Trump and Kushner’s new island is still littered with unexploded land mines and abandoned military bunkers, Kosta remarked, “This place sounds like paradise on Earth.”
“There’s got to be an easier way to divorce somebody,” he added. “Ivanka was on that island like, ‘Jared, smile. Hey, a little to the left. More to the left. Hey, hop up and down, Jared.’”
Kosta later pivoted his attention to Trump’s father, President Donald Trump, whose plan for a potential $1.8 billion slush fund was essentially killed by both Democratic and Republican members of Congress this week.
“What? You’re telling me that instead of just going along with whatever Trump says, members of Congress can actually stand up to him?” Kosta asked. “That they can provide some kind of check and/or balance? That’s great! It’s not as great that he pushed us so far that the check and/or balance is not using illegal money to pay pedophiles for storming the Capitol. But still, good on you, Congress!”
“It just goes to show that if you knuckle down and power through, you can do the bare minimum at your job,” the “Daily Show” host said. “That should shut up the haters who keep saying the only thing Congress is good at is insider trading.”
