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Kimmel Rings in Good Friday by Reading Real 1-Star Reviews of the Bible (Video)

”Lots of plot holes. This book is a mess,“ one person wrote

Good Friday is upon us once more, and this year, Jimmy Kimmel kicked things off by using the beginning of his monologue on Thursday night to read some reviews of the Bible from Amazon. Of course, he only stuck to the “constructive” ratings — you know, the one-star ones.

“We are about 20 minutes away from Good Friday, the most solemn day of the year for the Catholic church,” Kimmel began. “And I thought this was interesting, you know that book the Bible? Well some people, rather than stealing it from a motel room like normal people do, buy it on Amazon. And not only do they buy it, they rate it. And good news God, you got five stars! You did well.”

But, though God may have done well overall, the late night host made sure to highlight the aspects of the book people thought could use some work. Kimmel then proceeded to read out some of the 1-star reviews that you can actually find on Amazon of the Bible.

For many, the sheer size of the book was daunting. One person named Dennis dubbed it “too large to handle” adding that “I did not realize just how big the book was. A lot of information that I didn’t need.”

Another, named Randy, deemed the Bible “very boring,” and said that he “wouldn’t read it again.” Going into more depth, Randy said it “kind of dragged on. I was really waiting for the Jesus to die part but it was kind of anti-climactic. A lot of family history that I can’t keep up with. Lots of plot holes. This book is a mess.”

At that, Kimmel declared “Randy’s going to hell,” before reading the final review. According to the host, someone using the screen name Friendly Neighborhood Teen said “Hate it. I’m switching religions.”

Granted, it’s entirely possible that some of these reviews were simply trolling, purposely poking fun at the Bible. But they were all verified purchases, as vetted by Amazon.

“So there you go. May the Lord have mercy on these reviewers,” Kimmel joked. “They know not what they do.”

You can watch the full segment in the video here and above.

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