Jimmy Kimmel devoted considerable time during his monologue Wednesday night to talking about President Joe Biden’s first State of the Union address, and in particular, some of the more awkward moments throughout.
He also reminded viewers that it’s been just over a year since the Jan. 6 insurrection — but mainly he focused on the awkward moments. And if you watched, you know there were plenty, so let’s dig in.
“More than 33 million Americans watched Grampotus speak for more than an hour,” Kimmel said as he got going. “He announced he will release 60 million barrels of oil from our national reserve, which is good news for Ted Cruz’s hair.”
Kimmel also noted things Biden didn’t bring up as a way of reminding people about the deadly Jan. 6, 2021 riot stoked by Donald Trump. “Biden did not talk about Trump, North Korea or Bruno. He also didn’t bring up the insurrection. This was the first State of the Union since they stormed that room in the Capital,” Kimmel said.
“Where the President is entering right there, that is this is the door,” Kimmel continued as he showed some scenes from this year’s speech, “the mob tried to break down. The one that they had to barricade with furniture to keep the police away.”
“This is where the congress people [hid] under seats. That’s where the fat guys with zip ties were outside threatening to kidnap them. And here’s the spot where Republican Andrew Clyde hid behind an armed guard, while the maniacs he later described as “tourists” were trying to break in and bear spray his colleagues,” Kimmel continued.
Then, the late night host, got to some more lighthearted fare.
“At one point, Biden, who is going to turn 80 this year, had some trouble saying the word ‘Ukrainian’ — watch him and his nervous Vice President silently correcting him under her breath,” Kimmel said before showing the clip of Biden, who has a speech impediment, saying “Uranians.”
“You know, the Uranians. But of course he meant the Uranians. They’re from Uranus, the planet. They’re visiting us right now and he blew it. He was supposed to keep that quiet,” Kimmel said.
Kimmel joked that “it’s weird having two people sitting behind the president for the whole speech,” and pointed out one moment when House Speaker Nancy Pelosi attempted to do some kind of celebration at the worst possible moment.
“Nancy Pelosi, especially, might want to grab a spot in the audience next year because she — inexplicably — decided to jump to her feet and celebrate while the President was on the subject of veterans getting cancer from toxic burn pits,” Kimmel noted. “What is this?! This is not burn pits. This is, this is like you just got your name called on ‘The Price is Right’ is what it is.”
“That wasn’t even the most awkward moment of the night,” Kimmel added. “That award went to Congress members Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene, who took a break from yelling at the busboys at Applebees to yell at the President.”
“They heckled him just as he was talking about his deceased son, Beau,” Kimmel said. (And yes, they did just that by the way.) “Here they are, looking like they were five hard seltzers deep at a Thunder Down Under show in Vegas.”
“It was embarrassing. Even some of their fellow Republicans were embarrassed. But, as irritating as their behavior was, we do have freedom of speech in this country,” Kimmel said. “Which means I can remind you that Lauren Boebert is married to a guy who went to jail for showing his penis to a teenager at a bowling alley.”
That is also true, by the way.
“And Marjorie Taylor Greene spent last weekend speaking at a conference organized by a pro-Putin White Nationalist,” Kimmel said. “Klan Mom, this woman has so many issues when it comes to people wearing masks, but when it comes to people wearing hoods? None at all. None at all.”
Yes, MTG really did attend a convention with ties to white nationalists. And she wasn’t the only elected Republican to do so.
Kimmel ended the segment by mentioning the weird way the SOTU ended.
“Two of the moments that got some attention last night were ad-libbed, were not in the script. When Biden said Putin ‘has no idea what’s coming,’ that was off the cuff. And so was his final line of the night,” Kimmel said.
He then played the clip, where Biden says “Go get ’em.”
“Go get… Who are supposed to go get?” Kimmel asked. “Putin? Pokémon? What? We don’t know.”
Watch the whole clip above.