Parents crossing their fingers for another sly all-ages delight after “Paddington 2” will likely have their hopes dashed with “Peter Rabbit,” Will Gluck’s noisy, woefully self-aware adaptation of Beatrix Potter’s leporine protagonist.
Suffering under a tirelessly “hip” script by Gluck (2014’s “Annie”) and Rob Lieber, not to mention James Corden’s typical desperation to please in the title role, poor Peter is only slightly less appealing than “The Simpsons”‘ focus-grouped pup Poochie, and destined for an imminent journey back to his home planet while human star Domhnall Gleeson recovers from an exhausting battery of “Itchy & Scratchy”-style abuse.
Narrated by Margot Robbie, who also plays the voice of Flopsy, “Peter Rabbit” follows the misadventures of Peter, his three siblings Flopsy, Mopsy (Elizabeth Debicki) and Cottontail (Daisy Ridley) and their cousin Benjamin (Matt Lucas) as they try to steal vegetables from cranky old Mr. McGregor (Sam Neill) without finding themselves cooked in a pie. After McGregor suffers a heart attack, he bequeaths his farm to his fussy nephew Thomas (Gleeson), who knows little about gardening but harbors aspirations to sell the land in order to raise money for his own toy store.
Before Thomas can fully appraise the farm’s value, however, he finds himself waylaid: first by Peter and his animal friends, who feel entitled to share in the spoils of the McGregor garden, and then by Bea (Rose Byrne), a cheerful, slightly daft artist who lives next door, and encourages him to take a more bohemian approach with the local fauna. Soon, Thomas and Peter find themselves in a showdown for both the farm and for Bea — who the rabbit sees as a surrogate mother — turning the bucolic landscape of these two country homes into a battleground where the winner takes all, at all costs.
A big part of the appeal of Potter’s source material was that she anthropomorphized Peter and his kin with clothes and a humanlike home but still made them subject to their animal instincts; drawn from a ground-up perspective, there was an irresistible vulnerability that made them sympathetic even when getting into trouble. Gluck’s film wants to have its (carrot) cake and eat it too, classifying certain behaviors as naively animalistic (such as a rooster whose morning crow is, amusingly, a reflection of marveling at another new day) while transforming Peter and company into a willful, clumsy, obnoxious pack of mischief-makers.
Whatever argument the film hopes to make about the coexistence of man and animal feels repeatedly undermined when the bunnies not only pillage McGregor’s land of its vegetables but also make a mess of Thomas’ house and, eventually, attack him in his own bedroom.
Unfortunately, Gluck and Lieber “update” Potter’s timeless, unassuming tale by acknowledging many — too many — of the conventions and storytelling devices they’re otherwise shamelessly exploiting in their adaptation, pausing repeatedly to point out character flaws one by one, or articulating the emotional stakes of a moment in ways that even children will find on the nose.
But in trying to think through, and verbalize, every objection an audience member might have (from not giving Peter pants to making fun of a blackberry allergy), they undercut anything that could actually make the movie interesting, kowtowing to the broadest possible appeal by being conspicuously bland and safe.
There’s scarcely a moment that passes without the most obvious possible song playing, but Gluck goes the extra step and enlists everyone from Fort Minor to Vampire Weekend to re-record their lyrics to suit the characters, who sometimes sing their own story. The movie’s self-awareness eventually comes destructively full circle when the animals are called upon to actually communicate with the humans, and Gluck is either unsure or refuses to choose whether or not they can actually speak, further confusing the foundations of a story that really did not need to be this complicated.
As an actor, Corden has all of the appeal of late night’s least interesting talk show host — all enthusiasm, no nuance — and he delivers every one of Peter’s lines with the same energy and inflection: “Aren’t I as adorable as I think I am?” (He isn’t.) Much like with his “Carpool Karaoke” segments, where he makes the mistake of thinking he’s as interesting as the person in the passenger seat, he somehow steamrolls through each scene until his co-stars’ performances all run together, wasting the considerable charm and personality of three of Hollywood’s most gifted young actresses.
Only Byrne and (especially) Gleeson emerge with some sense of personality and dignity intact, owning Bea and Thomas’ one-dimensional quirks and turning their fledgling romance into a genuine emotional journey that becomes the film’s brightest spot.
Will Gluck isn’t a bad filmmaker, but by accident or design he seems to have catapulted himself into Hollywood’s family-filmmaker rotation with 2014’s “Annie” and cannot get himself unstuck. (At least he gives Byrne something to do this time, and finds her a co-star with some chemistry.) Beatrix Potter would likely have melted down at a version of her stories (and her hero) this crass and rambunctious, but the problem with Gluck’s adaptation is, ironically, that it’s too safe, splitting the difference between a loving tribute to a classic work of children’s literature and an irreverent piece of family-friendly entertainment.
“Peter Rabbit” feels obligated to point out all of the clichés that it’s rehashing, in the mistaken belief that doing so absolves itself from coming up with anything better to replace them.
16 Scene-Stealing Animals in Movies, From 'The Wizard of Oz' to 'Captain Marvel' (Photos)
There are a lot of fun animal movies. But the animals that most jump out at us are the ones that come from movies that are NOT about animals. They’re the ones that genuinely steal the spotlight for a moment from their human counterparts and deserve just as much acclaim. Here are 16 that stole the show.
Toto the Dog – “The Wizard of Oz” (1939)
Is there a more famous dog in the history of movies? Capable of infiltrating an army of Oz soldiers and making sure you pay attention to that man behind the curtain, we’d choose Toto, whose real name was Terry, as a pet over Lassie or Rin Tin Tin any day.
MGM
Asta the Dog - "The Thin Man" (1934-47)
Another classic animal star, the wire fox terrier Skippy portrayed Asta in "The Thin Man" films and over a dozen movies overall throughout the 1930s. Skippy starred opposite William Powell, Myrna Loy, Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn and more.
MGM
Capuchin Monkey - "Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981)
The Indiana Jones question that has plagued fans for decades centers on the capuchin monkey perched on the shoulder of a Nazi soldier that manages to do the Seig Heil salute. Does that mean the monkey was a Nazi or was it just taught to perform the gesture? And either way, did it deserve its untimely fate at the hands of the face-melting Ark?
Paramount Pictures
Norman the Calf – “City Slickers” (1991)
Winning the part through a literal cattle call, Norman won the part after Billy Crystal came to the ranch where the calf was raised and picked it for having a “sweet Bambi look” and the “cutest face of all,” according to EW.
Columbia Pictures
Phil the Groundhog – “Groundhog Day” (1993)
Punxsutawney Phil gives a pretty good performance “for a quadraped” in the classic romantic comedy “Groundhog Day,” in which Murray’s character Phil Connors snaps, kidnaps the groundhog and gets in a high-speed chase. “Don’t drive angry!”
Columbia Pictures
Mr. Jinx the Cat – “Meet the Parents” (2000)
Deep down every cat owner wants to believe that they might train it as well as Robert De Niro figures out how to train Mr. Jinx to use the toilet. Just don’t try to milk your own cat.
Universal
Baxter the Dog – “Anchorman” (2004)
“You know I don’t speak Spanish!” Ron Burgundy’s multi-lingual, cheese-loving, pajama-wearing pet deserves some sort of medal for getting punted into the San Diego Bay. The original dog that played Baxter, Peanut, died in 2010, and a replacement, Quince, was cast to play Baxter in the sequel.
DreamWorks Pictures
Tiger – “The Hangover” (2009)
Yes, Mike Tyson really does have three pet tigers. The screenwriters even rewrote the script to include Tyson when they decided they wanted a tiger to appear in the Wolfpack’s hotel suite.
Warner Bros.
Joey the Horse - "War Horse" (2011)
We'll give that "War Horse" is technically a movie about an animal, but Steven Spielberg's sweeping war epic is actually so effective in part because of the 15 horses that managed to give an expressive, unified performance as the wonder-horse Joey.
DreamWorks
Uggie the Dog – “The Artist” (2011)
A true performer and in a way inspired by Asta from the Golden Hollywood era, Uggie often stole the stage from star Jean Dujardin both onscreen and off, making the rounds during the film’s press cycle and even getting his paw prints at the Chinese Theatre. Sadly, Uggie was put down in 2015 at age 13 after a battle with prostate cancer.
Warner Bros.
Cat – “Inside Llewyn Davis” (2013)
The cat Oscar Isaac’s Llewyn Davis holds in the Coen Brothers’ film isn’t just a lost house pet: it’s a symbol for all of Davis’s failures as a person, as a musician and as someone who can feel empathy. Plus it’s surprisingly comfortable on the subway.
CBS Films
Daisy the Dog - "John Wick" (2014)
Lesson learned: do not mess with John Wick's dog. This adorable, 1-year-old beagle at the time of filming won the job over a dozen other puppies in the filmmakers search for "the cutest dog in the world" and managed to warm the heart of even the most cold-blooded of assassins as played by Keanu Reeves.
Summit Entertainment
Black Phillip the Goat – “The Witch” (2016)
The goat in Robert Eggers’s indie horror gem “The Witch” is a very real, 210-pound billy goat named Charlie that gives such a devilishly good performance, turning completely demonic in a surprise twist, that A24 actually made an awards campaign promo for it. The same goat even later showed up in A24’s “It Comes at Night.”
A24
Little Man the Bird - "I, Tonya" (2017)
The bird perched on Allison Janney's shoulder in "I, Tonya" might've won her an Oscar. Janney actually "auditioned" three separate birds for the role and this one "just sat there and was so sweet," she told the New York Times. But when the time came to film, it kept pecking at her oxygen tank, forcing her to step up her game and focus.
Neon
Olivia the Westie - "Widows" and "Game Night" (2018)
This fluffy star in the making appeared in not one but two 2018 hits, the thriller "Widows" and the comedy "Game Night." Olivia gave an especially good performance when Brian Tyree Henry's character in "Widows" was forced to violently pick her up by the scruff. But all's well that ended well when the two reunited on a talk show.
Fox/Warner Bros.
Goose the Cat - "Captain Marvel" (2019)
The important thing to know about Goose is that he's not actually a cat, but rather a "flerken," a vicious, multi-tentacled space beast who can gobble up an army of alien soldiers and leave a permanent scratch for one Nick Fury.
Marvel
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Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore
There are a lot of fun animal movies. But the animals that most jump out at us are the ones that come from movies that are NOT about animals. They’re the ones that genuinely steal the spotlight for a moment from their human counterparts and deserve just as much acclaim. Here are 16 that stole the show.