Seth Meyers Roasts Ted Cruz for Over-the-Top Speech Entrance With ‘Pyrotechnics From an 8th Grader’s Roller Skate Party’ (Video)

“After an entrance like that you expect to see The Rock, not someone with the personality of a rock,” Meyers joked

Seth Meyers had a pretty good laugh on Monday night installment of “Late Night” as he tore apart Ted Cruz for the Senator’s entrance at the Turning Point USA Student Action Summit last weekend. The late night host simply couldn’t get over how dramatic it was.

To kick off Monday’s “A Closer Look” segment, Meyers pulled up video of Cruz’s entrance, in which massive smoke cannons went off, loud music played, and a small light show occurred. Even Cruz himself seemed amazed, as the first thing he said when he arrived on stage was simply “Wow!”

“Yeah, wow,” Meyers deadpanned. “Talk about blowing smoke up someone’s ass.”

Of course, the late night host had more than just a one-liner. He had a whole slew of things to mock about Cruz’s entrance.

“There’s never been a bigger gap between the drama of an entrance and the charisma of the person making the entrance,” Meyers joked. “That was like if the lights went down and you heard Michael Buffer say ‘Let’s get ready to rumble!’ and then the lights came up on like a spelling bee. And not a good one. Not Scripps.”

Meyers then joked that, with hype like that, he definitely would’ve expected someone else to come out on stage.

“I think after an entrance like that you expect to see The Rock, not someone with the personality of a rock,” Meyers said, before imitating what he imagined Ted Cruz’s take on Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s legendary catchphrase would be. “‘Can you smell what Ted Cruz is cooking? It’s an expired Lean Cuisine. I found in the back of the freezer just covered in ice but I think it’s probably still good right?’”

Naturally, Meyers had some ideas for what Cruz’s entrance should have looked like, suggesting that it actually stay mostly the same — only Cruz should’ve come out on stage with the same suitcase he used when he attempted to flee his state for Cancun during a massive weather emergency (a move he later tried to pin on his daughters).

Eventually, though, Meyers got to wondering why Cruz is even still getting speaking gigs at all, let alone massive productions like he had at Turning Point.

“Why is this guy having so much fun?” Meyers raged. “The last few years he’s been caught leaving Texas during a statewide weather emergency and power outages, he was confronted by police in an airport in Montana after arguing with an employee, and slinked on to Tucker Carlson’s show with his tail between his legs to grovel and beg for forgiveness because he committed the grave sin of calling January 6 a violent terrorist attack, and he helped foment that attack in the first place!”

Meyers continued: “If any one of those things happened to me, I’d never show my face in public again. But this bozo gets to whoop it up shamelessly with the pyrotechnics from an eighth grader’s roller skate party. It’s not fair!”

You can watch Seth Meyers’s full “A Closer Look” segment in the video above.

And if you’d like to ask Meyers a question and have him potentially read it on video as part of TheWrap’s new AMA series, submit here!

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