“Late Night With Seth Meyers” writers Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel — who, by the way, also work together on Ruffin’s Peacock talk show, they’re busy people! — rang in the 50th installment of their recurring “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell” on Tuesday night.
And for the momentous occasion, they switched things up on host Seth Meyers without telling him, forcing him to deliver the punch lines of their jokes. Awkwardness (and laughs) ensued.
Usually, “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell” involves Ruffin and Hagel coming out to deliver jokes from their perspective as a Black woman and a gay woman, which obviously would be super problematic coming from Seth. This time, after coming out wearing evening gowns and toting champagne, Ruffin and Hagel forced Meyers to do the duties instead.
And to be clear, Meyers hadn’t been informed of this in advance. In fact, he revealed they had actually written and rehearsed a completely different act before the show just to trick him. Good one, Amber and Jenny.
So it is that they read the setups, and Meyers read their punchlines, after which they scolded him for being so insensitive. You can see the whole bit in the video above, but read on for the transcript of the jokes they told.
Hagel: A new play will open in London next year called “Cowboys and Lesbians.”
Meyers: Said audiences: I can’t tell which is which.
Ruffin: A team of all Black women is planning to climb Mount Kilimanjaro next year.
Meyers: Word has has it there’s a nail salon at the top.
Hagel: A coffeehouse in Ithaca recently created a social group for lesbians.
Meyers: A social group for lesbians, or as it’s more commonly known, the military.
Ruffin: According to a recent article due to the stress of racism, many Black Americans are leaving the U.S.
Meyers: “That’s too bad,” said white people lying.
Hagel: A reporter recently apologized for asking the captain of Morocco’s national soccer team if any of her teammates are gay.
Meyers: He meant to ask, “Are any of your teammates not gay?”
Ruffin: In a recent interview, Lauryn Hill defended arriving late to her concerts.
Meyers: Said Black fans: “It’s fine.”
Hagel: A recent article in The New York Times profiled several lesbian ballet dancers.
Meyers: And they all had one thing in common: They all wore these: (At this point, Meyers, reading instructions on his cue card, pulled out a pair of Birkenstocks.)
Ruffin: Princeton University’s newspaper recently published an article titled “African American Studies is meant for everyone.”
Meyers: Unlike Princeton, which is meant for white people.
Hagel: Subaru is planning to introduce three new electric vehicles by 2026.
Meyers: So now lesbians will own two things that are battery operated.
The bit ended with Seth, reading from their cue cards, asked Hagel and Ruffin to tell a joke.
Hagel: A new show about the life of Melissa Etheridge has opened on Broadway, and this is cool: Melissa Etheridge will be played by Seth.
Meyers responded by telling them they “Should be ashamed and delighted with your life.”