UPDATE: Showtime has finally put the video up, which means you can now enjoy this madness that I called one of the winners of Comic-Con 2017 for yourself.
Original story: “Twin Peaks” took over Hall H at San Diego Comic-Con on Friday, but something was missing: David Lynch himself.
But he knew wouldn’t sit well with the fans if he didn’t offer up anything to the thousands of folks sitting in Hall H. So he sent along a video message.
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,” Lynch said as he sat in a dark room, light shining on the left side of his face and most of the rest of him not visible.
Then Lynch looked past the camera, and spoke to an unknown person offscreen. “Hey, we’re on the fourth floor, not the ground floor here, buddy.”
Then he walked behind the camera. “What are you doing? Hey! Hey!” And then we heard the sound of a man falling/screaming, hitting the ground and a car crashing. Followed by a restart.
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I’ve gotta show you something,” Lynch said as he held up the arm of a corpse and wrested a golf ball from its hand.
“This supposedly is the last golf ball OJ Simpson hit before going into prison in Nevada.”
Then another cut and restart. This one we can’t even begin to describe, but here’s what he said:
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Twin Peaks at Comic-Con. Thank you all for joining us here and spending some time with us. Today, you’re going to meet some great actresses and great actors, and I hope you have a very enjoyable– [looks past the camera again] You can’t bring a horse in here! Take that gun away from her! What are you doing?”
And then it ended. The whole thing was hilarious, and extremely David Lynch.