Ousted Ukrainian President Victor Yanukovych lived a life of opulence in a presidential palace that was outfitted with everything from a private zoo to a restaurant in the shape of a pirate ship.
The state-funded excess left Stephen Colbert fuming on Monday’s edition of “The Colbert Report.” Not because of the political corruption it revealed, but because it embarrassed the good old U.S. of A.
“It makes the White House look like a dump,” Colbert said. “All it has is a bowling alley and a stupid organic garden.”
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Colbert knows of what he speaks. He was recently a guest at this month’s state dinner for French President Francois Hollande.
“I wish our state dinners took place in a pirate ship,” Colbert said. “Then I wouldn’t have been the only one who showed up with a parrot.”
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Colbert said he saw the uprising that deposed Yanukovych coming thanks to his extensive knowledge of former Soviet countries.
“Folks this sort of instability comes as no surprise to students of geopolitics, such as myself, who have played Risk,” Colbert said. “Possessing the Ukraine without a massive force is a fool’s errand. There’s too many borders.”
If only Yanukovych had played more board games.
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