After Melania Trump’s sudden statement to press last week rebuking any ties to deceased sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, the First Lady returned to “The Late Show” on Monday to push back on other purported connections — or at least, Laura Benanti’s version of her did.
Before the CBS late night show got properly underway, a disclaimer appeared that a message from the First Lady was going to speak. To start, she immediately called out her “extremely WTF press conference,” and explained why she made the speech.
“Most importantly, talking about Jeffrey Epstein distracts people from the war that was started to distract people from talking about Jeffrey Epstein,” Benanti’s Trump joked.
But, following the president’s threat to blockade the already-closed Strait of Hormuz — which came after Iran and the U.S. failed to reach a peace agreement — the fake First Lady thought it’d be prudent to offer another press conference.
“So, to once again distract from the war, I would like to make the following announcements,” she said. “Just as I rarely hung out with Jeffrey Epstein, I rarely cooked with Jeffrey Dahmer. We just had overlapping social circles in Milwaukee.”
The fake Melania also denied that she was a clone created specifically to handle the First Lady’s public appearances, before denying rumors of marriage troubles between her and Donald. Or rather, she valiantly tried to do that last bit, but couldn’t get through it.
“Last, I want to put the rumors of marital trouble to rest by saying I live at the White House, and I am absolutely in love with my hu–” she began, but gagged on the word “husband.”
After a few more attempts at declaring her love for her husband, and gagging every time, the fake Melania decided she simply couldn’t do it.
“I can’t do it. Bring in the clone!” she declared.
You can watch Benanti’s message in the video above.
