“SNL” host Will Ferrell lost his composure several times during a cut sketch that featured him alongside a group of children attending a Toobins performance. Ferrell, who played an overbearing and hyper-aggressive security guard, struggled to keep up the jig as he spoke to a group of adults about how they were all “on the spectrum.”
Ferrell’s security guard — who told the assembled parents and children they didn’t need to know his name — made it clear from the beginning that they weren’t going to allow any shenanigans around the children’s entertainers.
“One, the Toobins owe you nothing. They don’t owe you a picture. They don’t owe you a hug. And they certainly don’t owe you a Toobin Tango,” he insisted on Saturday night’s show. “Two, keep in mind the Toobans are exhausted. They are performing three shows a week. They are spent.”
Ferrell ignored an outraged parent who pointed out that three thirty-minute shows in a week is hardly a lot of work. As the Toobins were introduced one by one, Ferrell took the children and their families to task.
“Adeline, you were at a 10. I need you to take it down to a four,” he told one excited child. To another, he said, “You’re a vulture, Josie. Yeah, you’re a little vulture. I can smell it. You take and you take until the Toobins have nothing left.”
Ferrell’s security guard also revealed he served in Iraq — as in he was a server at a restaurant in the country. “I served at the Baghdad Cheesecake Factory, number one cheesecake factory in the Middle East,” he said. “That’s where I cut my teeth in crowd control.”
After Mama and Papa Toobin were alternately introduced, Ferrell turned to the group again. “Well, that was hell. Adults in the room, you guys, I’m sure a big chunk of you are on the spectrum,” he said while trying to keep his own laughter at bay. “You see? And I can assure you, I am on the spectrum as well. I’m on the spectrum of having it to not having it. Except instead of a spectrum, it’s a switch. And, honey, you just flipped it.”
Watch the sketch in the video above.
