The caper comedy about a bumbling art collector tasked by British authorities to track down a priceless stolen painting has accumulated just four favorable reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. The rest, all 39 of them, declare that it’s just about as awful as the trailers make it look, giving it a current nine percent “rotten” rating.
“The occasional joke lands, and there’s at least some fun to be found in the frenetic farce of all the conspiracies and the running-around,” TheWrap‘s Alonso Duralde wrote in his review. “Still, I spent most of the movie waiting for it to find its rhythms and set a witty pace for itself that would allow the humor to build and the outrageous situations to pay off grandly. Could we get a do-over with, say, Steven Soderbergh in the director’s chair and an actual British comedian in the title role?”
Other critics, however, were not as gracious to director David Koepp and screenwriter Eric Aronson, as well as co-stars Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany and Ewan McGregor.
“Depp — who used to be at least an interesting actor, remember those days? — attacks the part with the same sort of giggly glee he probably once showed playing dress-up with grandma’s Sunday best. The whole thing’s a great laugh to him, rather embarrassing to everyone else forced to watch.”
“Having combed Roget’s Thesaurus in vain for a suitable adjective to describe the Johnny Depp comedy Mortdecai, I’m forced to say it’s just … bad. The direction by David Koepp is bad, the screenplay by Eric Aronson very bad — though if Aronson were a bubbly American 15-year-old attempting a British caper-comedy after thrilling to a lot of old movies (which is how the script plays), I’d tell him it wasn’t too bad because puberty is difficult enough. Depp is very, very bad.”
“The brightest spot of ‘Mortdecai’s’ failure is that there’s now a Johnny Depp film on the books that makes ‘Transcendence’ look like an infinitely better night at the movies.”
“With other bad films, you can sort of understand what the intentions of the filmmakers might have been before things went wrong. ‘Mortdecai,’ on the other hand, is one of those rare birds that is so off-putting in so many ways that all I could do for the most part was wonder how so many presumably intelligent people could be persuaded to sign on to produce and appear in something that could not have possibly seemed like anything other than a total mess from its earliest stages.”
“With a varied wardrobe of retro men’s finery and a hirsute upper lip, the title character of the silly comedy ‘Mortdecai” is the center of a whirlwind of horrible British accents, too much gagging, not enough good gags and weak dialogue that, while not exactly terrible, is terribly boring.”
“The poster is awful. The premise is awful. To be frank, quite a lot about it is awful: a middle-aged comedy caper of the kind not seen since Peter Sellers’s final outings as Clouseau and Fu Manchu. But in its dopey and silly way, it does deliver one or two daft laughs.”
“‘Mortdecai’ might as well be called ‘The Johnny Depp Movie,’ because its preening star, wearing an ascot and a walrus mustache that becomes a tiresome running joke, is the whole show. And what a frantically dull spectacle this vanity project is.”
“Director David Koepp evidently has such confidence in the comedy that he considers the haphazard plot to be incidental, but the two elements are both so boring in their incoherence that they amplify each other’s stultifying effects. Amid the random plot turns, the jokes sound like mistranslations of one-liners that were only vaguely funny in some other language: ‘I eschew discomfort,’ ‘You’re barking up the wrong Englishman,’ ‘You look like you have a vagina on your face.’ ‘Mortdecai’ typifies playful English wit in much the same way as Wimbledon is known for its monster truck rallies.”
15 Movies You Already Forgot About: TheWrap's Best & Worst 2014 (Photos)
"I, Frankenstein": Alternatively titled, "I, Forgot This Move Ever Existed," the modern take on Mary Shelley's horror icon is most memorable for being a bad idea star Aaron Eckhart probably already turned into a repressed memory.
Lionsgate
"The Monuments Men": What happens when director and star George Clooney recruits acting titans Bill Murray, Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman and recent Best Actor Oscar winner Jean Dujardin to make a World War II drama? Critics write bad reviews, and the Nazis lose, or something. It's hard to remember more than that, since Clooney's BFF Brad Pitt put out a much better entry in the same genre eight months later.
Columbia Pictures
"Pompeii": This Carrie-Ann Moss and Kit Harington disaster flick about ancient Rome feels like ancient history, but it actually hit theaters in Feb. 2014. We're sure Sony Picture Entertainment would love for all traces of the seismic flop to be buried under a mountain of ash -- much like Pompeii was itself -- and permanently forgotten.
Sony Pictures
"The Pyramid": This found-footage thriller was dead upon arrival when it opened wide on Dec. 12. Fortunately for first-time director Gregory Levasseur, he wrote the screenplays for "High Tension" and "The Hills Have Eyes" remake, which will hold a place in horror history for years to come.
Twentieth Century Fox
"Men, Women & Children": Director Jason Reitman earned rave reviews for "Thank You for Smoking," "Juno" and "Up in the Air." His latest effort, however, failed to impress critics. Even the trailer failed to impress viewers, because it only grossed $1.7 million worldwide.
Paramount Pictures
"The Legend of Hercules": Not one but two movies about legendary Greek mythology hero Hercules came out this year, but neither made much of a splash. Kellan Lutz never had a chance with "The Legend of Hercules," which had a January release, but maybe he can rest easy knowing that even Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's August "Hercules" came and went without anyone noticing.
Summit Entertainment
"Need for Speed": A popular video game franchise, cool car chase and Jesse Pinkman from "Breaking Bad" sure seemed like a recipe for success, but the video game adaptation failed to create much excitement amongst any of the various fan groups that DreamWorks and Disney were banking on.
Walt Disney
"Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit": Tom Clancy's famous literary spy Jack Ryan has been on screen so many times -- played by A-list leading men Harrison Ford, Alec Baldwin and Ben Affleck -- that a new iteration seemed inevitable. But then director Kenneth Branagh's reboot starring Chris Pine came and went without many people noticing. Expect another reboot before you see a sequel.
Paramount Pictures
"Blended": Third time was definitely not the charm for Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. While the Warner Bros. comedy tripled its budget at the box office, it will only be remembered for being one of Sandler's worst comedies yet, providing audiences didn't immediately wipe it from their memory when they walked out of the theater.
Warner Bros.
"Walk of Shame": Elizabeth Banks should actually be grateful that this movie has already escaped the minds of moviegoers, because the reviews weren't just bad -- they were atrocious.
Focus Features
"Into the Storm": Who can forget that flying cow in "Twister"? The giant tidal wave crushing Téa Leoni in "Deep Impact"? Or Steven Tyler's vocals in "Armageddon"? Now who can remember the names of the actors that ventured "Into the Storm" for Warner Bros. last summer?
Warner Bros.
"As Above, So Below": You can't tell from the title, but this is a found footage horror movie about people exploring the catacombs beneath the streets of Paris. And if you didn't know that, then you can probably also tell it didn't do very well in theaters.
Universal Pictures
"Brick Mansions": People are too busy looking forward to seeing Paul Walker's final performance in "Furious 7" to remember his in the American remake of French action flick "District B13."
Relativity Media
"Before I Go to Sleep": This psychological thriller boasted a star-studded cast, including Nicole Kidman, Colin Firth and Mark Strong, yet it only made $15 million worldwide when released in October.
Clarius Entertainment
"The Good Lie": This Warner Bros. release starring Reese Witherspoon actually earned rave reviews. Too bad it only earned $2.6 million at the box office. Luckily, Witherspoon managed to generate some awards buzz and secure a Golden Globe nomination for a different drama the critics loved.
Warner Bros.
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Remember when Aaron Eckhart played Frankenstein’s monster? Neither do we
"I, Frankenstein": Alternatively titled, "I, Forgot This Move Ever Existed," the modern take on Mary Shelley's horror icon is most memorable for being a bad idea star Aaron Eckhart probably already turned into a repressed memory.