Kimmel Proves How Silly ‘Spikevax’ Is as the Official Name of Moderna’s COVID Vaccine (Video)

Moderna really picked “Spikevax” over literally anything else

Moderna’s COVID-19 vaccine has finally received official FDA approval, which is great. Not so great, however, is the brand name Moderna will be using to market the vaccine. Brace yourselves people, because it’s really silly.

“Spikevax.” Moderna’s vaccine is called Spikevax.

And in case you weren’t quite sure what’s wrong with that, Jimmy Kimmel created a fake commercial for Spikevax for his monologue on Tuesday’s episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” And it’s pretty much a spot-on explanation.

The commercial begins just like a normal, peppy pharmaceutical commercial. “For two years, Moderna has been working night and day to develop a life-saving COVID-19 vaccine, so you and your loved ones can get back to what really matters,” the commercial begins.

But then, after a slightly comedic list of “what really matters,” things change.

“This is the fabric that forms the beautiful quilt we call life. And we here at Moderna are proud to add a new fabric. One that was just approved by the FDA. We’re talking about,” the ad continues, before suddenly a loud, angry, extreme voice shouts, “Spikevax!”

Then the narrator addresses one of the actors in the commercial, asking him with heavy condescension “what vaccine did you get?”

“Moderna?” the man says.

“WRONG! You got Spikevax!” the narrator shouts, so loudly that it knocks the actor down.

“What’s Spikevax? Glad you asked you stupid piece of [censored],” the commercial continues as crude, garish graphics appear onscreen. “Spikevaxc is Moderna’s FDA approved COVID-19 vaccine. It’s got all the lifesaving ingredients. With an extra dose of HELL YEAH. EAT MY JOHNSON AND JOHNSON.”

“So if your pharmacist asks which vaccine you want, what are you gonna tell ’em,” the narrator asks.

“I’m going to tell them that I want Moderna,” an actress says.

“NO!” the narrator says, so loudly it moves the actress’ hair around.

“Did you just spit on me,” the actress asks.

“Don’t worry, you won’t get sick because you’re getting SPIKEVAX, newly approved by the FDA, bitch!”

You can watch the whole monologue at the top of the page. The fake ad for Spikevax kicks in around 6 minutes, 40 seconds in.

But if you’re worried that since FDA approval obliterates the last reasonable-sounding lie antivaxxers use to justify refusing to protect themselves and other people from a contagious disease, we might end up a slightly less insane country, don’t worry.

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