“The Tonight Show” host Jimmy Fallon took aim at both Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and the Trump administration Tuesday night, joking that the War in Iran has gotten so bad that America has started “launching heads of lettuce” at its Middle East combatant.
Fallon began by noting that RFK Jr. has promised that the parasite outbreak linked to iceberg lettuce is now “under control.” Although, the comedian did not find much comfort in the HHS secretary’s words.
“Well, that’s good enough for me,” the NBC host deadpanned. “This is the type of strong leadership we needed two months after the outbreak began. But RFK Jr. is spinning it. He’s like, ‘Hey, look at it this way. We just gave every American a free colonoscopy prep.’”
Fallon subsequently pivoted his focus to the Iran War, which is on the verge of escalating into full-on conflict once again, despite previous cease-fire agreements.
“Amid the ongoing war in Iran, the Pentagon is running out of money,” Fallon noted. “You can tell they’re short on cash. The military isn’t using missiles against Iran. They’re just launching heads of lettuce at them.”
Later in the night, Fallon turned his attention overseas to the U.K., which just appointed Andy Burnham as its new prime minister — the seventh figure to fill the role in 10 years. Naturally, an actor playing Burnham then appeared for a comprehensive interview with the “Tonight Show” host about his governmental policies and platform … only for the new U.K. Prime Minister to be replaced one cut later by someone else.
“Oh, geez. That happened fast. Well, now that you’re prime minister. What is your top priority?” Fallon asked, adapting to the change only to find another new prime minister standing in front of the podium.
“The people have spoken and they want change,” the actress said, to which Fallon replied, “Well, I think the change is happening too quickly. Can’t you guys just pick someone and stick to it? Isn’t there anyone in the U.K. who everyone likes?”
In answer to his question, it was ultimately “Harry Potter” wizard Albus Dumbledore who stepped up to fill the role for the final time. “You’re not even a real guy!” Fallon told the fictional wizard, whose response was: “It was either me or Meghan Markle.”
