We've Got Hollywood Covered

‘SNL’ Cold Open Finds Trump Visiting East Palestine: ‘I Feel Like I Could Schitt’s Creek This Place’ (Video)

James Austin Johnson’s Trump was joined by Chloe Fineman as Georgia grand jury foreperson Emily Kohrs

“Saturday Night Live” kicked off its latest episode by tackling former President Donald Trump’s visit to East Palestine, Ohio, the site of a horrific train derailment. Flanked by supposed East Palestine residents, James Austin Johnson’s Trump carried the cold open with a hilariously meandering address, true to Trump form, during which he said he felt like he could “’Schitt’s Creek’ this place,” referring to the Emmy-winning sitcom about a small town.

“Hello it’s wonderful to be here in the town of East Palestine, not a great name,” he began. “I had to come here and see all these wonderful people who have been abandoned by Biden.”

Johnson’s Trump continued: “Earlier today a farmer came up to me, big fella, and he said, ‘Sir, we have nothing to eat because our dirt is poisoned,’ and I said, ‘What are you doing eating the dirt?’ Don’t eat the dirt folks. You should eat the cold McDonald’s I brought you.’”

He then launched into blaming Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg for the incident.

“Who do we blame? We blame Buttigieg. Pete Buttigieg. This was his responsibility. Unfortunately, he was too busy being a nerd and being gay.”

Johnson’s Trump then offered up a nickname for Buttigieg: “I have to tell you, I call him Pete Butt. I call him Pete Butt. There’s no way around it, that’s the best one. Believe me, I’ve tried it every which way and it really doesn’t get better than Pete Butt.”

The sketch also addressed the regulations that Trump’s administration removed, which many have blamed for the derailment.

“This would’ve never happened under my administration,” Austin’s Trump said. “I did a lot for trains. I made them bigger, faster, less safe perhaps, but I’m here paying my respects because your train exploded and now your birds and fish are all dead. That’s gotta not be so great.”

The sketch also introduced Chloe Fineman’s Emily Korhs, foreperson of the special grand jury in Georgia looking into Trump’s efforts to overturn the 2020 election.

“She’s an odd duck, but we like her. She’s either seven or 40, we can’t tell,” Austin’s Trump said as he introduced Fineman. “They elected her. They’ll elect anyone; I started that.”

The speech, which also included a detour about Rihanna, came to an end with this:

“In conclusion, ‘Schitt’s Creek,’ Rihanna, Pete Butt and Live from New York It’s Saturday Night!”

Watch a clip from the sketch in the video above.